Thursday, November 17, 2005

I'm inspired now. If Steve Genard's mom can find this blog out of the 1.0 × 10100 pages on the web, then maybe other important people from my life can find it too.

1) Mimi. I don't remember your last name, sorry, but I'm pretty sure you were born around 1970 and you briefly dated a guy named Mike (me!) in the beginning of your freshman year of high school. This was shortly before you dated a guy named Kevin (coincidentally, Mike's best friend). I just want you to know why I was such a crappy kisser. You were the first girl I ever kissed on the lips! Anyway, you totally screwed up because I'm a complete hunk now, just ripped with muscles up and down my...uh...muscley bod. Also, I'm totally not a computer programmer. Very muscley. Hah!

2) Hey there Angelina Jolie! Hi! I want you to know that this marriage thing I have with Hank is not serious at all. Angelina Jolie-Ogblay! Email me! :) :) :) :) <3 <3 <3 <3 !!!!!!

3) George Walker Bush. What is wrong with you? You're all uptight about things that shouldn't bother you (e.g. Gay Marriage) and completely unconcerned about other major issues (e.g. that teeny weeny deficit of ours). Did the Silver Fox drop you on your head as a baby? No offense.

4) Larry Page and Sergey Brin. Hire me! I have a lot of very good ideas about computer things (Mimi, I'm kidding. I don't do computers (Larry and Sergey, ignore that!)). Also, I will totally give your company a plug on my blog if you hire me.

Ok, Angelina, Mimi, George, Larry, and Sergey! I've done my part here. Meet me half way!

4 comments: said...

This post made be laugh - nice segue from Setve's Mom to famous people (except Mimi - besides, she ran off with your best friend).

You are indeed funnier than Dean Karnazes, and it's nice to know that we can rely on the integrity of your tagline (unlike so many others).

Keep up the good work. I always welcome those other posts about how you're ensuring your daughter will need therapy when she's older.

Mike said...

Hey Mike, thanks!

I used to have one reader who LOVED my post about urinals and would often leave comments asking for more urinal posts. I think your request is more likely to be fulfilled.

Janelle Renee said...

Hey, this post is brilliant. I just might steal this idea from you and make my own list. (Giving you ALL of the credit, of course.)

BTW, Angelina told me to tell you that she is busy being a mom at the moment, but as soon as the youngest one --the one in her belly-- turns 8, and the fling with Pitt fizzles out, she'll give you a buzz. She wants to know if you'll wait for her.

Mike said...

Hi Janelle,

Ok, you can steal it but no fair being all clever and funny with it. Also, please tell Angelina that I will wait a LOOOOONG time for her. I am like a fine wine, getting better with age, and she'll still be hot when she's 80. Well, 70. Ok, let's say 60.

Now I'm all flustered.