Hank:  So, what do you think you'll do for your mid-life crisis?
Me:  I'm not sure.  What am I allowed to do?
Hank:  How about a nice fast sports car?
Me:  Eh, I don't drive much.  Plus, that sounds expensive.  What else you got?
Hank:  Ummm, maybe some inappropriate hugs with your friends?
Me:  Did you say "hugs"?
Hank:  Yes, with your guy friends.
Me:  Uh, no.  How about something with hookers?
Hank:  You are NOT allowed to be alone with hookers.
Me:  How many hookers do I have to surround myself with before we're not "alone"?
Hank:  Let me rephrase.  You may only be in the company of hookers in a public place.
Me:  Like a sex club?

Hank stared at me, calculating.

Hank:  Yes.... like a sex club.
Me:  So, I'm allowed to go to a sex club with hookers?

She snorted.

Hank:  Sure.  Go for it.
Me:  You know that they have sex in sex clubs, right?
Hank:  I know THEY do, but you?  You'd last about five minutes in there before running out the door.

So, I guess that's my mid-life crisis plan, then.  Maybe I should have gone for the sports car.