Hank: So, what do you think you'll do for your mid-life crisis?
Me: I'm not sure. What am I allowed to do?
Hank: How about a nice fast sports car?
Me: Eh, I don't drive much. Plus, that sounds expensive. What else you got?
Hank: Ummm, maybe some inappropriate hugs with your friends?
Me: Did you say "hugs"?
Hank: Yes, with your guy friends.
Me: Uh, no. How about something with hookers?
Hank: You are NOT allowed to be alone with hookers.
Me: How many hookers do I have to surround myself with before we're not "alone"?
Hank: Let me rephrase. You may only be in the company of hookers in a public place.
Me: Like a sex club?
Hank stared at me, calculating.
Hank: Yes.... like a sex club.
Me: So, I'm allowed to go to a sex club with hookers?
Hank: Sure. Go for it.
Me: You know that they have sex in sex clubs, right?
Hank: I know THEY do, but you? You'd last about five minutes in there before running out the door.
So, I guess that's my mid-life crisis plan, then. Maybe I should have gone for the sports car.