Thursday, February 28, 2008

I was discussing an urgent issue on the phone with one of my co-workers, Ralph, earlier this week when we realized we needed some information from Joe, another co-worker.

I instant-messaged Joe and he typed the following back, verrrry slowly, "hurt hand, typing with one hand."

So, we conferenced Joe into our phone call and asked him what happened to his hand.

"Well, I was microwaving a mug of tea, and when I reached in to get the mug, it was incredibly hot. I burned the crap out of my hand," he answered.

I was floored. It was one of those moments where you suddenly realize that you are not alone in the world.

"Oh my god!" I sputtered, "I thought our mugs were the only ones that did that. We used to have a bunch of free mugs from various employers and other freebie giveaways, and one day my wife trashed them all and replaced them with ones she bought from Target, and those Target mugs got SUPERHEATED in the microwave."

"Exactly! They'd get hotter than the water!" Joe agreed

"Hey, our new mugs do the same thing," added Ralph, "It's impossible to get the water hot enough in these things."

"Right. You get tepid water in an unbelievably hot mug. I complained about these mugs to my wife CONSTANTLY. The old mugs worked so well! I still can't believe she replaced them" I said.

"Why did she get rid of the old mugs?" Joe asked.

"Oh, man, that is a great question. One day she just decided they weren't nice enough." I answered, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Not nice enough?" Joe asked, laughing. "They were too 'student' for her? What's next, man? Is she going to make you get rid of your futon?"

"And then my brick and board bookcases! Aaaaaaaah!" I screamed.

We eventually moved on to topics that we actually get paid to discuss, but I'm still stunned by the fact that these unmicrowaveable mugs are apparently commonplace. I mean, I understand that manufacturing is dictated by economic forces, and that my mugs are probably being made by small Chinese children who get fed undersized lead pellets for lunch, but it seems like all mugs should be able to pass some basic tests:
  1. They should have handles - CHECK!
  2. They should hold liquid without leaking - CHECK!
  3. They should be able to undergo a full minute of microwaving without going nuclear - FAILED!
What the hell! How hard is this? Did it really not occur to the manufacturers of these mugs that I might want to heat some liquid in them? Coffee gets cold. Tea needs to be heated. This is pretty common crap.

A pox on crappy mug manufacturers, Target, and all other crappy mug resellers. Pox!


Avery Gray said...

I'm with Hank on the necessity of nice mugs. I don't even drink coffee, but we have guests on occasion who do. We wouldn't want them to think that we're barbarians or anything. But, as far as I know, our mugs don't superheat in the microwave. I've enjoyed nice, hot cups of cocoa from water heated in such a fashion, and as far as I could tell, the mug was neither warmer nor cooler than the water it contained.

Might I suggest some new mugs to replace the mugs you replaced the mugs with?

Anonymous said...

Stuff nice mugs - my husband blistered his hand doing the very same thing. He's hated our "nice" mugs ever since. There are enough things wrong in this world without the mugs turning against us as well.

Mike said...

Nice mugs? I liked it when we had all mismatched mugs. They had character!

Fear not, all, I complained enough that my wife threw out the Target mugs and replaced them with some Crate and Barrel models that are actually designed to be used as real mugs and fake mug props.