Forgive me while I delve into some technical details of human physiology. I did major in bio electrical engineering.
The human body is divided into two major systems: the awakey bits and the sleepy-time bits. My awakey bits are fully functional. I eat and crap with reckless abandon. Also, I work and exercise and blog with adequate mediocrity. Everything appears to be fully functional.
My sleepy-time bits are broken though.
I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with those bits, but for the last month or two, I've just been sleeping like a baby, a colicky baby from hell.
Some nights there's an explanation for wakefulness. Maybe Daisy is coughing or perhaps Hank gets up to do whatever it is that Hank does at night (masonry?). Other nights there's no real reason why I suddenly find myself awake. Once I'm awake, I'm awake for several teeth gnashing hours.
Hank always asks me, "Why do you look at the clock when you wake up? Why don't you keep your eyes closed and happily drift back to sleep?"
That's a two-part answer. First, I HAVE to know what time it is. It's who I am. If I don't know what time it is, I'm lost in the space-time continuum. I'm nothing. Secondly, I can't "happily" do anything once I wake up. I'm PISSED! I'm mad about waking up again. Unless, it's just a dream that I've woken up, there's nothing to be happy about.
I can't figure out why I've been sleeping so poorly. The period of time kind of correlates to when we got our new mattress, but despite the torture inflicted upon the mattress during delivery, it still feels pretty comfy. I've tried to figure out if I sleep better if I don't have any alcohol, or if I eat less at night, but I can't pinpoint it.
I mentioned my sleeping woes to our friend Juliet the other day. We had this conversation:
Juliet: Why don't you just take a sleeping pill?
Me: I occasionally pop a benadryl, but not often.
Juliet: No, a REAL sleeping pill, a prescription one.
Me: I'm scared of them. I'm scared I'll get addicted to them.
Me: Well.... then I'd need to keep taking them.
She had a point. I could keep taking these damn things as long as they make them. I keep paying my health care deductible, I might as well start billing those bastards for something. Hell, I might start taking Ambien just for the hilarious stories to blog about.