First, off, let me say how very helpful you all are. I start off by writing a post about how I always make stupid mistakes when working with one particular individual, and I close the post by throwing in a joke that Pablo made about me having a crush on the guy. Har har har. Then, the entire blogosphere, or at least my .0000002% of it rises up and unanimously claims that I am indeed very very gay.
On the bright side, at least I heard it from you guys and not some hairy, ultra-endowed, and frisky suitor.
Totally unrelated, apparently today was awkward conversation day.
The doorbell rang just before lunch today. A vaguely familiar woman was there. I stepped out in my socks and workout clothes to have this conversation with her:
Woman: Hi, I'm your neighbor from Roosevelt St and I'm taking care of your next door neighbor's yard for her and....hey, you look familiar. Do I know you?
Me: (not able to place her yet either) I'm not sure
Woman: Oh! I got it! I've seen you walking your dog.
Me: I don't have a dog.
Woman: Hmmmm. Ok. Anyway....oh....geez, are you ok? (peering down at my feet)
Me: Uh, yeah.
Woman: Oh, I see. You're just standing funny to keep your socks clean. Like this.... (demonstrates by contorting her lower body into an unnatural pigeon-toed stance)
Me: I guess I just stand that way normally. I'm naturally awkward.
Woman: Ah. Anyway, I'm cutting some vines in your neighbor's yard and...
Me: Oh! I recognize you now. You're Jackie. We chatted a long time ago about having you do some landscaping for us, but you didn't have time.
Me: Yeah! And also, once when I was walking with my daughter looking for snails for a school project, you helped us find some.
Woman: Oh. So, it wasn't your dog then.
Me: No. That was my daughter.
I needed to chat with one of my remote coworkers. I didn't have him on my Instant Messenger buddy list, but I had his boss listed. I asked his boss to cough up some contact information and he gave me Rick's Instant Messenger id and his phone number. Rick and I then had this chat:
Me: Hey, Rick. I've got you on my IM buddy list now! Expect me to be contacting you, oh, every 20 minutes or so, for the rest of your life.
Rick: Oh, I should add you to my list too. How do I add you as a buddy?
Me: Well, first we actually have to become buddies in real life.
Me: We'll need to hang out, get drinks, or maybe catch a ballgame.
Me: Whooo! Lunches with Rick! We'll be best friends forever!
Rick: Oh, here it is. I found the "Add Buddy" button.
Me: That works too.
I went on a lunchtime run and jogged down a semi-busy street. I ran past a couple of gentlemen sitting on their front steps.
Gentleman 1: Hey, keep running, dude!
Gentleman 2: Ha ha!
Gentleman 1: Run, Forrest, Run!
Gentleman 2: Ha ha ha ha ha!