Daisy's report card came home this week. Her first grade class doesn't give out letter grades but rather a series of minuses, checks, plusses, and stars. Additionally, the teacher makes some comments in the margin. The comment on this quarter's report card said:

Daisy adds majical spice to our class room. She is amazing :)

Ignoring for a minute that my daughter's teacher misspelled the word "magical", I'm mighty pleased with this comment. I have no freakin' idea what it means, but it pleases me. Magical spice! Is it a sweet spice? A savory spice? I don't know, but my daughter seasons the class room with delicious sorcery. She gets it from her old man.

Meanwhile, she got a good mix of checks, plusses, and stars. I don't know if Stanford will reserve a spot for her based on this particular report card, but it looks pretty good to me.

Actually, I forbid her from going to Stanford. Not because I'm a cheapskate (although tuition and boarding at Stanford this year is $31,200), and not because my alma mater, UC Berkeley, is Stanford's rival, but merely because I'm petty.

Back in my senior year of high school, I applied to about half a dozen colleges, including Stanford. I received my acceptance to Berkeley at around the same time I received a letter from Stanford indicating that they couldn't yet accept me, but they'd be willing to put me on their waiting list. The letter explained that they couldn't tell me how many people were on the list, or how high on the list I was. Furthermore, they wouldn't be able to officially accept or reject me until well after the deadline for replying back to Berkeley.

The letter instructed that if I wanted to stay on the waiting list, I should return the enclosed postcard, otherwise I'd forfeit my place on the list.

I debated this briefly, but considering that Berkeley was MUCH more affordable, and I needed to make a decision about Berkeley before I'd even know about Stanford, it was an easy choice. I'd go to Berkeley and there was no reason to send the post card back. I most certainly did not want to receive an official rejection letter from Stanford. I ripped up the post card and threw it away.

Two months later I received another letter from Stanford. I'll have to paraphrase it, but it said something along these lines:

Dear Michael,

It has come to our attention that you did not return your waiting list notification card. This was to be your indication that you wished to remain on the waiting list. In its absence, we have assumed that you intended to stay on the list.

We regret to inform you that we have rejected your application to Stanford.

Sincerely,
Some Pompous Jerkhead

Bastards! I threw that post card away on purpose so that I would NOT have to read a letter like this.

And that, Daisy, is why you will never go to Stanford.