Some (but certainly not all) ways in which I am a bad husband:

1) Often, as I leave the house to run an errand, I will turn to my wife and say, "If I'm not back in a few hours, it's because I've left you."

2) Long ago, after I had failed to pay attention to something important my wife said, I struck a deal with her. "Hank," I said, "There's no way I can listen to you ALL the time. So, how about when you're about to say something that I actually need to hear, you can say a special code word? Like 'Zwieback'." It's been our/my system ever since. It works because she never remembers to say Zwieback.

3) I call her Hank in my blog.