This is how I roll.

It's Saturday night and, as we all know, I'm a hep cat. Am I out clubbing? Am I partaking in one of San Francisco's hot new restaurants? No, sir, I am not. I am at the mall.

Technically speaking, I was at the mall. Now I'm at home blogging about it, which is probably the only thing more pathetic than being at the mall on a Saturday night.

Pimpin' ain't easy.

The highlight of my trip was playing hide and seek with my daughter amidst the clothing racks at a department store. She's not supposed to hide without informing us first, but she had wriggled into a rack of clothing without parental consent. I saw her feet sticking out below the skirt hemlines, so I quietly backed up to the rack and then let out a silent but deadly fart. She soon emerged from the rack.

My parenting skills are modest yet effective.