Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The last couple days at work I've been trying to write some documentation. You'd think that after over a year of cranking out blog entries, I'd be pretty good at filling up the page with technical gibberish. I mean, my blog is kind of like the technical user's guide about my life.

Chapter 1: Overview of a nerd
Chapter 2: Installing a child into your life
Chapter 3: Configuring your life with meaningless minutia
Chapter 4: Running marathons
Chapter 5: Troubleshooting the pain of life: Booze. Gambling.


Alas, when I sit in front of Microsoft Word and try to bang out work-related documentation, my brain seizes. I look for anything else to do. My day went like this:

- Open up Microsoft Word and all related applications
- Stare blankly
- Check email and CNN.com
- Write one sentence
- Surf entire Internet
- Write another sentence
- Check to see if Internet has been updated
- See how many knuckles I can gnaw off in an hour. Try to beat that record.
- Erase previous sentence
- Pray for death, sweet death
- Insert bug into code.
- Call meeting demanding that bug be fixed. Offer to fix.
- Fix bug.
- Write half-sentence.
- Fantasize about other career options, like Manure Taster.

I will admit that this was not my most productive day. Not even in the top three.

On a positive note, if my knuckles don't stop bleeding soon, I'll call in sick tomorrow.

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