Sunday, February 27, 2005

My weekend kicked off with a long run on Saturday morning, as it often does. Anything semi-humorous I have to say on the matter was adequately covered two weeks ago in this post. Seven weeks 'til Boston.

Saturday afternoon's activity speaks poorly of me on a number of levels. Let's review and then count them.

So, every Friday night, we have some friends who come over to watch Survivor with us. This week, however, our TiVo failed to record Survivor. So, instead, we went over to our friends' house on Saturday, with daughter in tow, and watched it there.

Ok, let's count:

1) I watch Survivor. Yes, I admit it. It's a guilty pleasure. Bite me.

2) TiVo is a remarkable device that makes it fairly idiot-proof to record all your favorite programs, and yet, I still managed to screw it up. I out idiot-ed the idiot-proof device. Hmmmm, who's the idiot now?!? Oh....me.

3) I let my daughter watch Survivor. In case the public educational system has failed to instill in my daughter the necessary skills needed to successfully out-whine, out-lie, and out-fumble her way through adversity, we've now got it covered.

Boy, I only count three. Actually, that's not too bad. Hell, I practically beat that on Saturday night.

So, on Saturday night, the family went over to my wife's boss's house for dinner. Dinner with the boss-man can be an intimidating evening, but he's a nice guy with a charming family, so we had little to fear, until....

Apparently the wife and I ate something earlier in the day with amazing gas-producing abilities (I guess that was stupid thing #4). We spent the evening with butt-cheeks firmly clenched. Luckily, after dinner, I managed to grab a seat in the far corner of the room. Although it appeared that I was slightly anti-social, it was really medically justified. I ripped stealthy farts from a safe distance for the next hour.

My wife, however, being more dainty and genteel, just held them until we got into the car at the end of the evening. It was an unpleasant ride home.

Ok, so we didn't let our hosts know about our flatulence. We're good guests, right? Well, pretty good until my daughter proclaimed that her dinner "was disgusting" and "tasted like worms". Oh, ho ho ho, those kids say the darndest things. How cute!

We had a nice chat afterwards about manners. Too late, me thinks.

Today came and went, embarrassment-free. My daughter's aunt took her for an afternoon of fun, so the wife and I did adult activities. Mostly that consisted of getting our taxes together and playing Scrabble. Note, however, that I said "Mostly", because we also did some dishes, sexy sexy dishes.

I'll be in my bunk.

8 comments:

The Mincemeat Vixen said...

I watch Survivor too. And I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!! Even though the last couple were bad (we didn't know how good we had it when we had Rob C, Jenna & her Fake Tits friend) I'm giving this season one last chance to impress me, and then I might be off the bandwagon. Probst still rocks, though. What an asshole. Gotta love the Probst.

Mike said...

Probst does rock. Aside from the end-of-season cheesy bring-the-vote-box-back-to-the-studio montage, he pulls off this whole hosting thing.

And, you're absolutely right about Rob C. God, I'd kill to have someone funny on this show again.

Miss Misse said...

I watch Survivor with my kids too. They go play for the so called "boring talking parts", but want me to call them in when it's time for the challenges. Kiana always gets pretty attached to a certain team, and roots for them pretty heavily. When Rupert was voted off of his first Survivor, she even stopped watching the rest of the season! I almost did too.

Mike said...

Miss Misse, now you're just bumming me out. I like to maintain the illusion that the movies and TV that I like are adult in some way. As near as I can now tell, Survivor is pretty much just family fare (not that I ever thought it was depraved or cutting-edge).

My sister reports that her daughter also cried when Rupert was booted. And, my daughter LOVED Survivor. Her team allegiance changed based on whichever team was winning at that moment, but she's a fair weather fan in general.

Dang, I watch family TV. How depressing.

Stacey said...

Survivor is like a gluttonous addiction!

Hi. My name is Stacey and I'm a Survivor addict. It's been 5 days since my last episode ... (Oh wait, I think I'm getting this all confused with confession.)

I'm not all for roughing it in the great outdoors, but I just can't seem to help myself from playing an imaginary game of Office Survivor, Monday through Friday.

Unbeknownst to half the staff I work with, I keep turning in stealthily written note cards to the management in order to vote most of them off.

Hmmm ... Maybe I need JP and a couple of torches to make this happen.

Mike said...

Stacey, I love the Office Survivor idea! Unfortunately, I work at home, so my options there are limited unless I enjoy voting for myself. I could, however, play Family Survivor where I vote off a member of my family each week. That'll teach the littl'un to tell my wife's boss's wife that her chicken tastes like worms.

Stacey said...

Unless you invite a few relatives over, I'm guessing it's going to be a short game ...

Mike said...

Yes, but that maximizes my chance to win the $1,000,000 prize.

There is a $1,000,000 prize, right?