I was the Designated Asshole today.

We were our friends' house today, and they were waiting for a delivery, which was hours late. One of our friends turned to me and said, "Someone needs to call the delivery guys and be mean to them. We can't do it. You do it, Mike." So, I did it. I phoned the delivery service, called them liars, demanded compensation and took down a few names.

This is what it has come to. After being a nice guy for most of my life, I've become dependably surly in my recent years. Perhaps if this whole computer-programmer thing falls through, I can craft a career out of my reliable surliness.

Would someone like to hire me? I have references.