Well, I made it through Day One of single-parenthood virtually error-free!
- Picked the kid up from school on time (ok, accidentally left her lunch box at the school).
- Took her to ballet class (ok, called one of her friend's mom by the wrong name).
- Stuffed her cry-hole full of burrito for dinner (ok, there was something in the burrito that she was allergic to, and I kept talking about stuffing things into holes during dinner. I'm pretty sure this will result us getting lectured by her teacher in the upcoming days about my daughter's new-found infatuation with discussing her "holes").
- Bathed her (No errors! Child is both clean and undrowned).
- Told her some stories and tucked her in (No errors! Child is both asleep and not overtucked).
So, I'm 2 for 5. That's 40%. What is that, some sort of low F? F---? Oh well.
I would have shut up about cramming stuff into her holes except that she found it so damn funny. I'm a laugh whore, and, consequently, a lousy influence on my own child. I am fairly certain that she will dangle a carrot in front of one of her school-mates tomorrow and suggest that he cram it up his sneeze-hole. This is almost guaranteed.
A few days ago I asked my daughter how old she'll be when I'm no longer able to make her laugh. "Seven," she said definitively. My wife nodded in agreement. So, I've got two more years of making this schtick work and then I'll need a new gig.