Two quick thoughts. First, a coffee-inspired Ode to Caffeine:

Caffeine, oh caffeine
You had me at AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Second, I am alarmed to report that my wife is going to see her dad, leaving me in charge of the child for 4 hot-dog and where-the-hell-does-your-mother-keep-your-underwear filled days. More panic-stricken posts on this as the situation deteriorates develops.