Monday, March 01, 2010

Daisy and I chatted a fair bit about her Taekwondo tournament this last weekend. I kept coming back to the Jesus prayer they featured during the opening ceremonies.

Daisy: Yeah, that was weird. I mean, if they wanted to thank someone for the tournament, shouldn't they thank someone from Korea for inventing Taekwondo?
Me: Maybe they were asking Lord Jeebus to protect them from harm?

(Note that this theorized protection apparently did not apply to the woman who took a serious head shot, fell unconscious, and got taken out of the gym on a stretcher)

Daisy cracked up at my irreverent mention of Lord Jeebus.

Daisy: Lorrrrd Jeeeeeebus! Thank you Lord Jeeeeeeeeebus!

I chuckled at this. Hank shot me a "You Are Breaking The Child Again" look.

Me: Ok, Daisy, now although I also enjoy the phrase "Lord Jeebus", most of the people in this country are Christians and take their Jesus very seriously. Saying "Lord Jeebus" would be pretty offensive to them, like a swear word. It's like the words "ass" or "shit". You can say them inside this house because those words don't offend me in the slightest, but it's not wise outside the house. Same with Jeebus.

Daisy: Oh Lord Jeebus, thank you for my anus!
Hank: Did you just thank Jesus for your anus?
Daisy: Yes! Lord Jeebus, thank you for my ass! I love saying "ass"!!

Hank shot me another look.

Me: Okok, let me repeat. I LOVE you thanking Lord Jeebus for your ass, but please remember we are in the minority here. You can't say that stuff outside our house and you can't say that stuff when there are other people in our house. Jesus is pretty much the most important thing to many many people. Heck, there are probably plenty of your friends who would not appreciate this kind of talk. Let's not offend our friends, ok?
Daisy: Sure, but it's just us here right now, right?
Me: Yep.
Daisy: Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebus!

Hank: *glaring at me* You owe me!
Me: What? You OWE me!
Daisy: Why does anyone owe anyone else?
Me: Your mom owes me for teaching you about Jeebus.
Daisy: Ok.

(Note, I understand that I have just offended some of you, and that saddens me. I just felt the need to update you all on Daisy's progress with my parenting priorities.)


Lola said...

I love you and your parenting priorities, I love Daisy, I love Hank, but most of all I love Lord Jeeeeebus. Thank you for bringing me closer to Him.

Mike said...

Amen, Lola.

Ms.PhD said...


HD said...

There's a new book out called The Christian Atheist: Why People Who Believe in God Live as If There Isn't One. I would recommend it to you but in the end the author teaches you how to live a more Christ centered life and I don't think that's what you were going for. I think the book is good primarily for it's title. And frankly, anything that calls Christians to task is fine by me. Oh, and I have some bad news for you. Considering what is actually written in the Bible about being a Christian, you, Hank, and Daisy are some of the best Christians I know. You're all very forgiving, very loving. You appreciate what you get from life. You're helpful . . . Damn! How ironic is that!

Mike said...

Hi HD! It's nice to hear from you! As for us being good Christianish people, I think you must be referring to the ladies in the house. They're loving and forgiving people. I can muster up love and forgiveness for people that I like, but a true Christian would apply them to the unlikable people as well.