Every year the 4th grade teachers at Daisy's elementary school take the kids on an overnight camping trip at the end of the year. This year, however, after spending the last 9 months with this particular batch of 9 year-olds, the teachers thoughtfully considered the notion of spending a night or two with our children and then said, "Hell no!"
Apparently Daisy's class has a reputation for being...uh... high energy.
Upon hearing this, one of the parents of one of the 4th graders said to herself, "I'll organize it myself! And we'll do it without the teachers!"
(Note, similar ideas have been had before by similarly well-intentioned people)
And that's how I found myself camping this weekend with both a group of kids deemed uncampable by the experts, and the parents who raised them. Let the record show that I attempted every possible excuse to get out of this trip, but was ultimately left with the decision to either be The Dick Parent Who Wouldn't Go, or just man-up and go. I opted to go, but it was a close call.
The trip actually went ok. It wasn't my preferred way to spend a weekend, but we skipped the Friday night portion and turned it into a more-reasonable one-night version of the excursion. We got back home tonight and as I sat at the dinner table with Hank, I was forced to have this conversation:
Me: So, what was the hilarious part of the trip? What should I blog?
Hank: I thought what Petra said was pretty funny.
Me: What was that?
Hank: Remember? She was complaining about how a couple of the dads stayed up until 1:00am drinking and arguing. She said that they sounded like a couple of dogs barking. I loved that!
I contemplated this for a moment.
Me: That's not funny! That's misogyny... No, wait, that's the hatred of women... Crap! What's the word when someone hates men?
Hank: I don't know.
And so the cardhouses that are my Berkeley education and my wife's Vermont education came crashing down around us. While I'm capable of spouting off an accusatory "misogynist!" or an indignant "homophobe" or maybe a drunken "carbon-spewing nazi" or more often than not a boner-inducing "science-hating racist censor bible-thumping nazi douchetard Melvin", I was totally unable to come up for the word for someone who hates men, although I've encountered a couple in my life.
Turns out, the word for someone who hates men is: misandrist.