I'm not ashamed to admit that I don't really know much about football. I mean, I know basically how the game is played, and I keep a lazy eye on the 49ers, but I'd be hard pressed to correctly match more than a handful of players with their teams.
So, when I go to "draft" my fantasy football team, I'm not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that my main goal is just not to embarrass myself. I don't want to be the guy drunkenly drafting Joe Namath or Pele. Enough of the guys in the fantasy football league already think I'm gay, I don't need to flaunt my football ignorance.
Of course what I lack in football acumen, I can make up for in web browsing effort and spreadsheet massaging. So, I spent some time last week perusing web sites to find quality data about whether Player X is really better than Player Y or Pele. I even downloaded ESPN's injury list to ensure I wouldn't draft some idiot with a broken toe.
What I failed to realize is that there's a whole other list of players called the "Physically Unable to Perform" list. These are the players who are SO freakin' injured that they don't even make the regular injury list.
I, of course, drafted one of those.
It's going to be a long season.