Monday, August 25, 2008

I'm not ashamed to admit that I don't really know much about football. I mean, I know basically how the game is played, and I keep a lazy eye on the 49ers, but I'd be hard pressed to correctly match more than a handful of players with their teams.

So, when I go to "draft" my fantasy football team, I'm not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that my main goal is just not to embarrass myself. I don't want to be the guy drunkenly drafting Joe Namath or Pele. Enough of the guys in the fantasy football league already think I'm gay, I don't need to flaunt my football ignorance.

Of course what I lack in football acumen, I can make up for in web browsing effort and spreadsheet massaging. So, I spent some time last week perusing web sites to find quality data about whether Player X is really better than Player Y or Pele. I even downloaded ESPN's injury list to ensure I wouldn't draft some idiot with a broken toe.

What I failed to realize is that there's a whole other list of players called the "Physically Unable to Perform" list. These are the players who are SO freakin' injured that they don't even make the regular injury list.

I, of course, drafted one of those.

It's going to be a long season.

6 comments:

Avery Gray said...

Ouch! Could there be any bigger blow to the male ego than being placed on the "Physically Unable to Perform" list?

Mrs. T. said...

Yipes. I have nothing to add. I've tried to understand football forever. I remember the cheerleaders at HS cheering for the wrong side. The 'game' is on here twice a year. Superbowl and uh... another game if he's lucky. So what is it that attracts you to the fairytale football thing? The stats and the math? Your super macho personality? You could do some other sort of non sports fantasy thing... like books on the NYT best seller list or top downoads on cnet. There's stats there too, right?

Meg

Mike said...

Avery, if there is a bigger one, I'm sure I'll find it this season.

Meg, I'm about 10% more macho than when you knew me (which is to say about 0% macho overall). The reason I play this game is just to keep in touch with my old co-workers. Now, fantasy baseball, THAT'S a game!

loveyh said...

Ahh, the PUP list. How is it that I know more about football than a 40 YO 49ers fan? Dude, even I remember Joe.

Of course, Avery still kicked my ass at Fantasy Football last year.

Mike said...

Lovey, ok, I'll admit that I had indeed heard of the PUP list, it just never occurred to me that the PUP people wouldn't be automatically listed on the regular injury report. Shouldn't the injury report include SERIOUS injuries?

Avery Gray said...

That's right, Lovey, and I'll do it again, beeyatch.