Saturday, July 12, 2008

While we were in San Diego this week, we spent a day visiting Legoland.

Legoland is a great idea for a theme park. First, it's a beloved kids toy. Second, it's a BUILDING toy. Kids use it to build little houses, little cars, little everything. So, why not showcase Lego and build an amusement park out of it? Genius!

We had a lovely time there, but I did have one teensy-weensy itsy-bitsy minor little complaint.

I don't mean to tell the good people at Lego how to do their job or how to build an amusement park, but if I owned a company that made Lego, the world's favorite building material, and I was building something fun like an amusement park, I'd consider BUILDING IT WITH LEGO!

Almost nothing in Legoland was built out of Lego. There were some token Lego statues, like Darth Vader or a dinosaur, that were pretty good, and there was a nifty section of the park called "Miniland" that replicated key buildings from famous U.S. cities out of Lego in miniature, but by and large very little in Legoland was made out of Lego.

You couldn't ride in a Lego vehicle or walk inside a Lego building.

That's weird, right? I mean, not a single Lego building? Not even one where they built a regular building and then covered the walls with layer of Lego? Yeah, that's weird.

So, here's my billion dollar idea.

Let's all pool our money together and buy a big plot of land near Legoland. And then let's buy a crapload of Lego. And then let's BUILD STUFF OUT OF LEGO! We'll have buildings you can play in where they appear to be made entirely out of Legos, and vehicles you can ride in that appear to be made entirely out of Legos AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING YOU'D BUILD WITH LEGOS EXCEPT LIFE-SIZED!

I mean duh. Jesus.

And we'll call it something slightly different for trademark reasons, like LetsGoLand.

They're morons.


yajeev said...

I'm all for an all-Lego roller coaster.

Mike said...

Yajeev, you're hired as my first builder!

Avery Gray said...

How about a miniature Legoland in Legoland? Made of Legos made out of smaller Legos. Of course, inside the mini Legoland would have to be a mini mini Legoland. Where would the madness end?!

Mike said...

Avery, yes! I totally expected to see a mini Legoland in Miniland! It was the obvious thing to do and they failed. Those morons can't even make Lego out of Lego