Monday, June 02, 2008

*ring ring*

*ring ring*

Me: Hello
Telemarketer: Hi, can I please speak to Michael Ughblay?
Me: That's me, sort of.
Telemarketer: Hi Michael, how are you doing this evening?
Me: Ducky. And your bad self?
Telemarketer: Very good, thanks for asking. I'm calling this evening to remind you of elections tomorrow and to ask for your support for David Chiu...
Me: Tah dah!
Telemarketer: What?
Me: I've got a rule. Whenever someone calls me to solicit my vote, I'm forced to vote for the OTHER person.
Telemarketer: But, are you familiar with the county commissioner office?
Me: I don't have to be, do I now? You've made up my mind for me.
Telemarketer: ....
Me: So, thanks for helping me decide who to vote for!
Telemarketer. *grumbly* You're welcome. Have a good evening.
Me: Right back atcha

She seemed nice.


Lola said...

What if BOTH sides ring you? Do you change over when the second call comes? What if there are more than two candidates (or doesn't that happen in the Mother of Democracies)? Does it depend on how nice the telemarketer is? What about if someone comes to the door - same rules?

I need to know all this, it isn't just about wasting your time. Honest.

Mike said...

Lola, I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you a bit. My algorithm isn't quite as cut and dried as I may have implied. I'll generally only use this criteria if I'm undecided or ignorant about the two candidates (as I am with poor David Chui).

If, however, George Bush were running for reelection, his opponent could ring my phone 100 times a day and I'd still vote against Bush.

Avery Gray said...

This is why I communicate solely via tin cans and string.

Mike said...

Oh, like the telemarketers don't have tin cans. Pffft.