Liz, who will be my manager in two and a half weeks, has been asking me various questions to prepare for my impending and triumphant arrival at my new job. These were mostly run-of-the mill questions about my computing needs. Then she asked if I wanted a phone for my desk
I thought that was a pretty strange question. Of course I want a phone for my desk! I'll also need a chair for my ass, some sort of writing implement for my hand, and access to a restroom for my best thinking. I need all the standard officey stuff!
"Most folks don't have one, and I just picked mine up today for the first time in months, but if it makes you feel good, you can have a phone," she offered.
Huh? Most people don't have phones? In an office?
I mean, I know that we have email, IM, and something terrifyingly intimate called "face to face" (which I assume involves french kissing), but people still use phones, right?
"Like I said, you can totally have one, but I bet you won't use it. I can't even remember my own number!" Liz explained.
That's when it hit me. The last time I worked in an office was in the 1900s and I was in my 20's. It's now 2008 and I'm 40 years old. I have no idea what a modern office is like. Is the phone the 2008 version of the Red Swingline stapler? Do I need to hide behind a protective wall of fax machines, typewriters, slide rules, and cotton gins to make myself feel safe and cozy?
I manned up.
"Well, I guess I don't need one until I need one," I squeaked.
"That's a good plan. Thanks Mikey." Liz replied reassuringly.
No phones! Good god. I've made a horrible mistake