Wednesday, May 07, 2008

A few weeks ago our general contractor basically finished the work on the room we had added to our house (and, yes, Liz your algorithm for assuming one month of real time for each week the contractor estimated was pretty accurate). Now, in the evenings, we retire to the new room, which is pretty nice looking.

When I sit in the new room, I think "Hey, it's nice here!"

When Hank sits in the new room she thinks, "Man, the rest of the house is a dump."

So, for the last several months, Hank has been poring over color charts. Paint is the next great frontier. She stares at online virtual rooms, color wheels, redecorating books, something called a color triad and other people's houses. Mostly she stares right through me, but that's understandable. I'm usually babbling about my jogging pace or maybe boobs.

Hank was tormented by the color choices. I offered to step in and assist a while back.

Hank: Really? You want to help?
Me: Sure.
Hank: What color palette were you thinking about?
Me: White
Hank: (exasperated) We can't pick white.
Me: Duh! I know we can't pick white. I just like the white palette. How about antique white or eggshell white?
Hank: NEVERMIND!

You'd think I'd suggested that we paint the house with the blood of our daughter. White is apparently the most absurd color you'd ever want to paint a hallway. It would be so... crap, I can't even finish that sentence. I have no idea what's wrong with white. Before we moved into this house, every single place I ever lived (with the exception of Barrington Hall) had white walls. They didn't clash with furniture or art or cause people to spend man-months staring at color triads.

Anyway, Hank found a painter she liked who had some availability this week, so that forced her to pick a color palette. Today the painting began. What colors did she pick? They are:

Midsummer Gold
Butterfly Wing
Peruvian Evening Lily

I know! I KNOW! Those aren't even colors! I mean, at least "Midsummer Gold" has a color in the title, but the other two are as likely to be yoga stretches as wall colors.

The midsummer gold went up on the walls today. It's kind of brownish gold. I haven't seen the Butterfly Wing yet, but I've been informed it's kind of yellow. And the Peruvian Evening Lily? Red, obviously.

I'm beginning to fear that this process of "fixing" the design of our house is a process that will never end. On the plus side, however, as long as Hank is distracted with replacing colors, she won't have time to think about replacing her husband. I am pretty white, I'm told.

5 comments:

Avery Gray said...

The only places you will find white walls in my house are in the closets. I grew up in a house that was all shades of white. I still have nightmares.

BTW, if you're worried about clashing, you can never go wrong with any paint color with taupe in it's name. Unless it's 'This Color is Definitely Not Taupe'.

Mike said...

What's wrong with white? I'm not saying that the floors or furniture or art should be white, but having white walls seems totally reasonable. Obviously couches need to be chocolate colored, judging by the stains on mine, but we're well past the days of smearing food on the walls, so white seems ok there.

moxey said...

At least paint is the least expensive when it comes to your decorating options. When it comes to tearing out walls, replacing floor coverings, or installing plumbing, THEN you're talking big bucks.

Of course my BIL is a painting contractor so I get my labor for free -- or at least as free as a pizza and pitcher of beer can be.

Indulge your wife and let her paint the whole place if she wants to. You will not regret it.

Avery Gray said...

White walls are so rental. You own, baby! Live it up.

Mike said...

Mox, you are right, of course. And I don't regret it.

Avery, woooo, I'm living it up with my Peruvian Evening Lily! Whooooooopeee!