Thursday, April 10, 2008

Having a kid would have been a lot more fun if I had done it when I was a kid.

Playing rounds of Go Fish, visiting the local amusement park, and eating hot dogs would all be immeasurably more entertaining if I were eight years old alongside Daisy. Watching High School Musical for the umpteenth time would still suck, but overall there would be a lot more common ground.

Some days we do alright though.

Daisy: Daddy, you know how we make up words sometimes?
Me: Sure. I'm all about making up words. Wordimafying!
Daisy: Is 'discombobulate' a real word?
Me: It sure is.
Daisy: Really? Is that how it's pronounced?
Me: Yeah... geez... now you've got me wondering. I'm pretty sure that's right. Let's go check.

I brought Daisy over to the computer and I googled up a site that would pronounce English words. I typed in 'discombobulate'...

Me: Ooooh! It pronounced it with an English accent! Fancy!
Daisy: Try another word!

I typed in 'pooh'. I was rewarded by another English pronunciation.

Daisy: (squealing with delight) He said it! He said 'pooh'!
Me: (fighting overpowering urges to type in every obscenity I know) Awesome! What should we try next?
Daisy: Table! Try 'table'!!

I did. It wasn't as funny as pooh. I typed in 'fart' next. It didn't disappoint. It came out all British and snooty. Faahhht.

Daisy and I busted up.

Daisy: (falling off the chair laughing) He said fart!! He.... said.... it!!
Me: (also laughing) That was a good one, huh? Fahhhhhhhhhht!

We spent a good while longer trying all the toilet words I could think of. It's nice finding common ground.


Avery Gray said...

Aw! This post just warms the cockles of my heart.

Oooo, you should type in 'cockles'!

bsouth said...

What? Rude words are funnier when said by the english? Can't see it myself.

Mike said...

Avery, what makes you think I didn't already type in 'cockles'?

Barbara, that's exactly right. An English accent sounds somewhat more formal to most Americans, so coupling it with obscenities is a recipe for humor.