Hank and Daisy went to go see Cirque du Soleil on Friday night. They came home buzzing with tales of acrobatics and contortionism.
Hank described one contortionist who did something absurd like lay down on her stomach, and then arch her body so far into the air that her feet landed in front of her face. Then, like some crazy toy, she "ran" her feet around her body.
Hank shuddered telling the story and said that that part of the show was just plain creepy.
Now, I wasn't there, but I don't think that would creep me out. Instead, here are the two main things you can do with your body that will make me flee in horror:
1) Expel a substance: Feces, vomit, babies, etc
2) File your nails
That last one is NASTY. I cannot stand the sight or sound of nails being filed. I know people traditionally complain about the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard, but what if that board actually ground down your nails? That's what a nail file does!
If I need to remove a part of my body, I'm going to snip it. It will be very quick. I WILL NOT USE A LOW-TECH BELT SANDER LIKE A NAIL FILE.
I don't shave by scraping sandpaper on my face. I don't cut my hair by rubbing it with steel wool. So, please understand when I'm a little oogified by someone filing down part of their body.