Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Final random notes on the Vermont "vacation":

1) One day we used a ferry to cross a narrow portion of Lake Champlain to get to New York. My mother-in-law noted that some people use the ferry as part of their regular commute. After waiting 15 minutes for the ferry to arrive, and then another 10 minutes to travel the 1/3 mile distance across the lake, I asked the logical question.

"Mother in law, why don't they build a bridge here?"

"There's a bridge 30 miles north of here."

"Yeah, but maybe a bridge every 30 miles is correct. It would save people from driving an hour, right?" I asked "Wouldn't that make more sense that a ferry that only runs during daylight and rare Vermont good weather?"

"We like the ferry."

I know that "Freedom and Unity" is supposed to be Vermont's motto, but perhaps a better one would be "Inefficiency and Lake Champlain Infatuation and Maple Syrup Addiction". I'll contact Bernie Sanders.

2) There was a scale in my mother in law's house. I don't stand on scales often because no news is good news. I don't want to hear that I weigh less (less muscley!) or more (fatter!), so what are the odds that I weigh the exact same thing? Slim.

But, I'm a gambling man (as shown by the abysmal performance of my baseball blog), so I stepped on that bad boy. The digital display "spun" for several seconds computing force vectors and whatnot. It soon reached its conclusion and displayed...

"ERR"

Err? What the hell was err? Was I too fat or too skinny for the scale? Apparently my mother in law had purchased some sort of Heisenberg Uncertainty Scale. The mere act of measuring my weight made it unknowable. Awesome.

3) We made a trip to Walmart to purchase a fishing rod for Daisy. It was my first trip to a hunting/fishing department of a store.

It was surreal in there. Entire aisles of hooks. Purchasable ammo. Camouflage for days. I can't recall when I've felt more out of place. Is this how people from Kentucky feel when they walk into an SF gay porn shop?

5 comments:

Sue said...

So, are you saying you feel at home in a SF gay porn shop? Let's be real, the majority of people on this planet (not just Kentuckians) would feel freaked out in a SF gay porn shop. imho

Mike said...

Sue, I can tell you that I would feel more at home in a gay porno shop than in a hunting department (although the number of times I've hunted (not counting fishing) is equal to the number of times I've had gay sex). As for the difference between Kentuckians and the rest of the world? Well, aside from humor, probably not much. Thanks for reminding me that it's the entire rest of the world that I differ from.

chess h said...

Mike, I think that the first time you find a Kentuckian who would actually admit to having entered a SF gay porn shop, the answer would be clear before you had to ask.

newnorth said...

One of the best times I had when I visited Seattle was watching the business men run for the ferry. They would sprint from the middle of downtown!

oh, and it sounds like the scale is one of those you have to tap, wait until 0 appears, and then step on it. That's what I think at least

...hunting camoflauge is the ugliest kind

Mike said...

Chess, now I must find out. I'll take the day off, and hang out all day in a gay porn shop waiting for Kentuckians. This will be a good use of my time.

Newnorth, some crazy tap maneuver was required to operate the scale? Like a double-click? Bizarre.