Thursday, July 19, 2007

Saturday night, after a full day of activity, I was ready for a restful night of sleep. Although my sleep patterns recently haven't been stellar, the Valerian tea has been a good aide, and I've gotten a few good nights of sleep. I looked forward to having another one on Saturday night.

I squirmed around until I found my happy position, closed my little eyes, thought happy thoughts, and....


Huh? Wha? Was that a beep?

I rolled over to look at the clock and saw that the display was blank. Power outage.

I contemplated the beep. I've gotten good at discerning the dishwasher's Pardon-Me-Good-Sir-But-I've-Been-Opened-Midcycle polite beep from the smoke detector's Alert!-Alert!-Alert!-My-Battery-Itches whining beep, from all the other beeps. This beep was from the uninterruptible power system (UPS) in my office. It was telling me that the power was out.

Thanks, dude. Good to know in the middle of the night. I checked my nearby cell phone and it was 3:00am. Sweet.

I flopped around on the mattress trying to find my happy spot, but a few minutes later the UPS beeped again. In fact, it began beeping about once a minute, desperately trying to communicate that the power was draining out of its all important battery. BEEP!

I lay in bed trying to figure out how to interrupt the power to the uninterruptible power system. Unplugging it wouldn't help. Gah. Nothing would! BEEP BEEP BEEP! THE POWER IS OUT! MY INFORMATIVE BEEP IS ALERTING YOU TO THIS SITUATION AT ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT! BEEP YOU'RE WELCOME!

After 10 solid minutes, I got up, went into the office and crawled under my dusty desk. I used the light from my cell phone to examine the UPS. There was a big switch on it. I flipped it. Uninterruptible, my ass.

I went back to bed, satisfied at my genius. I wriggled back into my comfort zone and....


Doh! Crap! Dammit! Gah! Now what?!?!

This was a different beep. This was my cordless phone. It was complaining that it couldn't find the base that it plugs into DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT WAS SITTING IN THE BASE. The power outage had blinded it.

Beeeeeeeep! Momma base system! I'm lost! Beeeeeep! Mommmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaa!

I wasn't going to get up again. Surely the power would come back on.

Beeeep! Hellllo! The power is out and I'm beeeep lost! Mommmmmmaaaaabeeeeeeep!

I whipped the covers of and stormed back into the office. I ripped the batteries out of every phone within grabbing distance, perhaps more roughly than was required. Phone decorum be damned.

I got back to sleep at around 5:00. Stupid beeps. One more night like that and I will rip the ears off my head. Don't think I won't.


mox said...

My cell beeped at me from about 2am on this morning. I let it beep until I got out of bed at 6 and then I plugged it in.

I'm DONE with getting up to feed hungry things at two in the morning. DONE, I tell you.

Mike said...

No kidding. Everything needs to SHUT THE HELL UP while I'm sleeping.

newnorth said...


Mike said...

Right back atcha, Newnorth.