Monday, May 21, 2007

"Mike, what's the most boring thing you could blog about?" I asked myself.

Baseball gambling software?

Ha! Funny one.

How the grass grows in my backyard?

Um..... no.

My crappy sleeping abilities?

Yes! Nicely chosen, Mike.

So, a while ago I asked ya'll (y'all? stupid slang contraction) for suggestions on how I could sleep better. This was a thinly veiled attempt on my part to find validation for my proposed strategy of taking powerful pharmaceuticals, sweet sweet pharmaceuticals. Because you are all contrary and out to get me, instead, you came back with touchy feely suggestions like "Try to figure out what's bothering you."

Even your "pill" suggestions were touchy feely. A few folks recommended melatonin and a couple others suggested valerian tea. I didn't know what "valerian tea" was, but it sounded like something that space hippies would drink on Star Trek. It seemed maybe one step more legit than hanging crystals above my bed and lighting some patchouli incense.

HOWEVER, because I am an open-minded man, I went out and bought some melatonin. It helped a little, but I still woke up in the middle of the night sometimes, and I always felt groggy in the morning. Overall, it was probably a little better than taking an antihistamine, but it wasn't the answer I was looking for.

I ignored the "valerian tea" answer because of that whole new-agey sci-fi stigma. Then, something amazing happened. Daisy was watching an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation (because I am molding her in my image) and there was a scene where Deanna Troi stepped up to the replicator (a machine capable of constructing almost any kind of matter). She asked for something that I only half heard from my vantage point in the kitchen.

"Daisy!" I called, "Press the 7-second-back button!" (God bless Tivo (and the children)). She complied and I was able to clearly here what Deanna requested from the Replicator: "Valerian Root tea."

Holy cow! Deanna Troi is the ship's counselor on the Enterprise. She is the new-agey touchy-feely person. This confirmed EXACTLY what I had suspected about valerian tea. It was for space hippies! But, now I had to have some.

So, last night I brewed a cup of Starfleet's finest sleep aid. And..... well, I'm not sure. I slept maybe a little better than I have been, and I didn't wake up too groggy. The jury is still out on this one, but since I'm spending most of my waking hours making decisions based on small sample sizes, I might as well base my sleep strategies on those too.

Tonight: Valerian Tea Test Two.


Sue said...

Good for you! You spacey, touchy feely, new age hippie!

See - hippies have some good ideas. Hope it works better tonight.

Mike said...

I've embraced my space hippiness. Four years at Berkeley wasn't enough, but Valerian tea cements it.

carey said...

The thing with these sleep aids is that they help you fall asleep, but don't necessarily keep you asleep. That, plus I think big pharma has led us to believe that we absolutely must sleep thru the night uninterruped, but that's not the case for most people.

Maybe you're just going through the change.

Mike said...

"The change" What the hell is "the change"? Am I going through menopause? Damn, that explains a lot.

Elizabeth said...

Ohmigod, Space Hippies!!!

This is why I'm addicted to your Blog!

Mike said...

Hey Elizabeth, I don't know if you've watched much Star Trek Next Gen, but Troi is TOTALLY a space hippie. I am one with her now.

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