Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Stephen Colbert does a bit called "Who's Honoring Me Now" where he reflects upon recent accolades and notable mentions. Let's do something similar.

Last week, Nick Douglass of Valleywag fame, wrote a post listing The 12 Funniest People On The Internet. Unsurprisingly, this list does not include me. It does, however, include two of my favorite bloggers (Izzle Pfaff and Defective Yeti) and my man-crush, Ze Frank.

Note that Nick Douglas has read my blog once or twice before. He used to be the main writer for Blogebrity, which chronicled the virtual comings and goings of A, B, and C-list bloggers. Back in 2005, I had participated in a promotional event for the movie Serenity, offering a plug in my blog for a pass to the preview. I was flamed elsewhere in the blogosphere for my actions and Mr. Douglas took note of the blog carnage, stopping by once or twice.

So, since Nick is aware of my blog, and I think he would have included me on his Funniest list had the list been expanded to... say.... The 1,000,012 Funniest People On The Internet. Go me!

So, who is mentioning me this week?

That would have to be the Wikipedia!

As can be seen in my sidebar to the right, I've written a few posts about my sophomore year in college, living in Barrington Hall, a student co-operative at UC Berkeley. Ever since then my blog has been visited by most people who google for Barrington. One of those people was my suitemate, who we'll call Aquarius, whose wild exploits were noted here. She emailed me last year and we've had some lovely and sane discussions.

Aquarius has been active in writing content for the Barrington Hall page in the Wikipedia. Down at the end of the article, several external links are listed, and she added my blog as a link. What's great is that she describes my Barrington posts as a "first-person-account of a 'straight' person who lived at Barrington in the 80s, in five parts"

Wha? Why is the word straight in quotes? I'd guess that she's using the word straight as short-hand for straight-laced. If the word weren't in quotes, She's be saying that I was the least counter-culture guy there, a possible nominee for Least Likely To Jump Off the Roof On Acid. However, those quotation marks indicate that she means the opposite, deftly implying that my straightlaced appearance was deceptive, and that a depraved hippie lurked shallowly beneath my short hair and button-down shirts.

That seems like an unlikely interpretation though. I clearly was one of the cleanest cut guys there, so why the quotation marks? This brings us to the next most likely definition of the word straight -- heterosexual.

So, those damn quotation marks lead me to the inescapable conclusion that Aquarius, and maybe many other Barringtonians, think that I am gay, that I'm *fingers making air-quotation marks* straight. Super. I'll add this to the already immense list of reasons why I think I got laid so infrequently as a college student. As if the nerdy behavior, concave chest, and complete lack of style wasn't enough already.

Anyway, that's it. That's my big new honor. I'm officially documented in Wikipedia as "straight".

It's nice to be honored.


carey said...

Congratulations. So you're saying that, whether you were perceived to be gay or straight, you still couldn't get laid in college? Too bad. I dig a concave chest.

Mike said...

Carey, too bad for YOU. You really missed out on a beauty of a concave chest. Too late now. Not only am I married, but I'm working on a sweet set of man boobs.