Monday, September 26, 2005

Dear reader(s),

Hi Hank!

Yesterday I learned that I am a big fat whore.

Ok, I exaggerate a wee bit. I'm not really very big. Mostly just a whore, and a cheap one at that. Let's go with "one-bit whore". That fits snugly.

Why am I a whore, you ask? I have taken this blog that we (ok, I) love so very much and I have polluted it with vile and clumsy marketing from the movie Serenity. I've become a corporate shill. I've sold out to the man. I've slaughtered figurative puppies and eaten them raw.

Poor figurative puppies.

Sometimes the blogosphere is like a big mirror, in which I can peer to see if my ass looks fat in these pants, or if I'm suddenly giving blowjobs for pocket change. Yesterday it was the latter.

On Saturday I posted about how I scored a chance to see the Serenity preview in exchange for writing a blog post about the flick. Then, on Sunday a fairly popular blog called gaping void linked to me, wondering if the Serenity marketing team had bungled this effort by requiring that bloggers write about the movie. He posited that perhaps a better approach would have been to give out the tickets with no strings attached.

A little later that day, a blogger at New Persuasion stated that they had also scored a pass to the preview but would be boycotting it for ethical reasons, in protest of the blogging requirements. He linked to me as an example of "another viewpoint". Tactfully put.

Then, hours later, meta-site Blogebrity weighed in with a summary of the matter. In a single paragraph they laid out the timeline of the blogosphere's relationship with Serenity, identifying me as the naive gaga blogger, smitten with Serenity's offer, and blinded by my crush. Other blogs were linked to as being more evolved.

In the blogosphere, issues are raised, summarized, and mocked all within hours. It's a good place.

Apparently I have violated the sanctity of the corporate-free blogspot domain. For that I am deeply, deeply apathetic. For all of you that have come here seeking brand-name-free philosphy and thoughtfully-considered politics, I highly recommend the "Next Blog" button. It never fails.

On the plus side, in the last 36 hours, nearly 200 people have clicked over to this site and then hurriedly clicked away in disgust. Hi there!


Nick Douglas said...

Ha, I didn't mean to peg you as The Neophyte, just needed one post about Serenity from someone who hadn't yet gotten the lame "actually we fibbed" e-mail.

Mike said...

Hi Nick,

No prob, but should I be worried about the "actually we fibbed" email? I don't like the "yet" in your sentence.

I fear change.

dolface said...

you go you corporate whore!
i still love you, but i want a discount on blowjobs from now on, there's no way i'm paying two bits any more.

tinyhands said...

I don't see what the big deal is- nobody reads your blog anyway.

Mike said...

Dolface and Tiny, I never liked you guys.

nomax said...

Hah. What a riotously funny concept - that anyone who takes part in this medium is anything other than suckin' the teats of the world's largest corporations. It takes a simpleton or a romantic to call you a corporate shill right before they fold up their iBook, close up their 3G phone, or disconnect their wifi.

Elmo Oxygen said...

I wanna be a corporate whore, too. Can you give us a "how-to" post, Mike?

Mike said...

Nomax, not to play devil's advocate here, but I'd suggest that there is a difference between buying the products of a corporation and actively marketing their products.

I have no issues with being a whore. We all have our price. Mine, apparently, is about $9.00.

Elmo, I think my last post WAS the how-to. Or, perhaps you could post a how-to ON THE BLOG THAT YOU NEVER FREAKIN' UPDATE. Hmmmm?

The Mincemeat Vixen said...

Oh hell, pretty much anyone who's working for someone else is a whore. Aas you said - we all have our price. $9 isn't so bad, I once broke up with a guy for a bag of cinnamon hearts. What's that, like $2.50? Canadian?

Nick Douglas said...

"We all have our price. Mine, apparently, is about $9.00."

I want that on a t-shirt.

Mike said...

Vixen, at least you got candy.

Nick, whoooo! At long last, my master plan and t-shirt empire is coming into focus!