Friday, December 29, 2006

When googling for the definition of the word 'blog', the first result says: Blog is short for weblog. A weblog is a journal (or newsletter) that is frequently updated and intended for general public consumption...

The second result says: ...Blogs are typically updated daily...

etc

Frequently updated, eh? Updated daily?!? Dang. Blogging must be hard. Dunno what exactly it is that I'm doing here, but it surely ain't blogging.

Speaking of what I'm doing, what the hell have I been doing for the last week that's been so damn time consuming? Any guesses?

I'll just tell you. Dishes. I've been doing the dishes. Pots, pans, plates, silverware, lime squeezers, oversized coffee mugs, the works. My in-laws have been staying with us for the last week and my wife had the foolish idea to try and feed them three meals a day. I went along with her cockamamie plan because our unspoken agreement is that I will pretend to be a better person than I actually am when the in-laws visit. Completing the charade is that my in-laws pretend to believe my Eddie Haskell-like persona. They are kind people.

Anyway, I need to go unload the dishwasher now, but I can tell you this: My next house will have 2 full-sized dishwashers. After I fill and run Dishwasher A, then I'll just use clean dishes from it as I need them. When I generate more dirty dishes, I'll load them into Dishwasher B. Once that baby gets full, their roles will reverse.

I may be the Haskell of in-laws, but I am the Mozart of dishwashing.

10 comments:

The Tart said...

I thought I saw you somewhere before!!!

Smooch,
The Tart
; *

Kat said...

Amazing resemblance...long lost cousins maybe.

Mike said...

Tart, aren't you too young to remember Leave it to Beaver?

Kat, spooky, eh?

The 4th Sister said...

Mike, I was wondering what was happening with you....Old sister and I spoke about it a few days ago....we thought you were doing something exciting...I guess not..

Mike said...

4th sister, if you're looking for exciting holiday tales, you've come to the wrong place.

Velvet Sacks said...

I'm glad you emerged from your cocoon of Eddie-Haskellness long enough to tell us what's going on. No doubt your in-laws--and Hank, for sure--appreciate your efforts. If nothing else, your willingness to pretend to be a nice guy is a sign that you care. Happy New Year!

chess h said...

The Mozart of Dishwashing... Mike, sometimes your phraseology is unparalleled. I'd steal that expression if I weren't already keenly aware that I am the Salieri of All Household Chores.

Happy New Year, see you in 2007.

Mike said...

VS, nice spin.

Chess, the Salieri comment is way better than my Mozart one!

Crystal said...

i tried to refrain from commenting but by the time i finished your post, i was almost in tears. since my best friend and i send emails through work, we refer to sex as washing dishes. washing dishes with a dishwasher is doing it yourself. i am pretty amped that you are getting two. you're going to be busy!

Mike said...

Crystal, that's very amusing. That finally explains why you've seemed so obsessed with dishwashing in your blog.