Unnecessary Literary Device: Mike, what's your favorite thing about Winter Present Tree Day?
Me: Good question.
ULD: Is it the presents?
Me: Nah, I'm a big boy now. Anything that I'd want someone to buy for me, I'd rather just buy myself.
ULD: No, the GIVING of the presents. You know, the whole cliched Spirit of Winter Present Tree Day thing? Is it that?
Me: Oh, god no.
ULD: Is it the tree?
Me: No, but the tree is a significant part of the day, one third to be precise. It's also purty.
Me: No, screw winter.
ULD: What's left?
Me: The name!
Yes, I love the name "Winter Present Tree Day"! It's everything I want in a name. It's accurate and charmingly bulky at the same time. It says "I value humor over tradition". What's not to love?
And the best part of the name is the name of the Tree itself. Just like how on Christmas, the Christians all have their Christmas trees, well on Winter Present Tree Day my family has our Winter Present Tree Day Tree. Yes, there are two Trees in that name! That's the very best part! Two trees! When Daisy utters its full name, completely matter of factly, the grin on my face is unstoppable. The charming bulkiness warms my heart and tickles my funny bone at the very same time. It's like orgasming and laughing at the same time, but much easier.
Holidays are precious.