Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Unnecessary Literary Device: Mike, what's your favorite thing about Winter Present Tree Day?
Me: Good question.
ULD: Is it the presents?
Me: Nah, I'm a big boy now. Anything that I'd want someone to buy for me, I'd rather just buy myself.
ULD: No, the GIVING of the presents. You know, the whole cliched Spirit of Winter Present Tree Day thing? Is it that?
Me: Oh, god no.
ULD: Is it the tree?
Me: No, but the tree is a significant part of the day, one third to be precise. It's also purty.
ULD: Winter?
Me: No, screw winter.
ULD: What's left?
Me: The name!

Yes, I love the name "Winter Present Tree Day"! It's everything I want in a name. It's accurate and charmingly bulky at the same time. It says "I value humor over tradition". What's not to love?

And the best part of the name is the name of the Tree itself. Just like how on Christmas, the Christians all have their Christmas trees, well on Winter Present Tree Day my family has our Winter Present Tree Day Tree. Yes, there are two Trees in that name! That's the very best part! Two trees! When Daisy utters its full name, completely matter of factly, the grin on my face is unstoppable. The charming bulkiness warms my heart and tickles my funny bone at the very same time. It's like orgasming and laughing at the same time, but much easier.

Holidays are precious.

7 comments:

Tasty said...

"Holidays are precious." As are you.

Seamus said...

Do you often orgasm and laugh at the same time, because just trying to figure out how to picture it in my head makes me laugh.

Mike said...

Tasty, *blushing*

Seamus, you know, I have never even tried to orgasm and laugh at the same time, but now I'm motivated. It's going to be tough, but worthwhile.

Kat said...

Happy Winter Present Tree Day... some people make things so much more complicated than they must be, but thats what makes you so interesting!

Mike said...

Kat, complicated? Just the opposite! Rather than put up with a holiday that I resent (for issues that are entirely my own), I have taken the parts of Christmas that I like and constructed my own holiday. I've distilled Christmas into its Mike-friendly components.

It's simplicity incarnate!

carey said...

You might like to know I helped with Remy's xmas party in school today. I was in charge of the loathsome crafts portion of the festivities. At the end of the day, I wished all the kids a "happy merry winter present tree day." They looked at me blankly, and scurried off, but the teacher got it. Thank god. Ooops, can I say that?

Mike said...

Carey, YAY! I'm so happy that Winter Present Tree Day is spreading across our nation. It kicks ass over Festivus. You've made my day.