Today was going to be a pretty good day.
First, we've got a fantastic couple that comes over every Monday morning to clean our house. Yay, stink-free house! Then, we were scheduled to bring super delicious tacos from our favorite taqueria over to our friends' house for dinner. It's a happy monthly event.
None of those things happened because it was "A Day Without Clean Houses Or Tacos". I think America learned a valuable lesson today, or at least the part of America that's forced to smell my house. Meanwhile, Hank whipped up an alternate dinner for us to eat. She called it "Immigrant Surprise". (The secret ingredient is Ecuadorans. Shhhh!)
Anyway, in honor of immigrants, I will now post an important conversation I recently had with one of my favorite immigrants, my good friend Pablo. We often debate the important issues of our time:
Me: Hank and Daisy went out for manicures and pedicures this morning. Or "manis and pedis" as they say.
Pablo: Sounds fun.
Me: I suppose. I was hoping to postpone this event in Daisy's development for another decade, but, oh well. At least I don't have to clip her nails this week now.
Pablo: You usually do that with clippers, I imagine. Nail scissors are horrible.
Me: What? You've got to be joking. Clippers are an abomination
Pablo: You are so wrong.
Me: Clippers would be good if I had 20 of them, each exactly fitted to one nail. However, since each of my nails is a slightly different size or shape, there's no one nail clipper that does the job.
Me: Yes! The problem with nail clippers is that with every cut, you leave some sharp point. You're constantly recutting, replacing one pointy part with another. It's like you can asymptotically approach a correctly cut nail, but you never make it there. You're always getting halfway closer.
Pablo: That's absurd. Scissors are horrendously hard to use. Clippers are much easier!
Pablo: I don't even know you.
So, as you can see, immigrants and native-born Americans still have a long way to go to find common ground. Hopefully this blog post brings us all a little closer. I'm the uniter.