Monday, May 08, 2006

I'm a pretty horrible leader. I'm not good at making decisions and my people-skills are suspect. If you were, for example, putting together a Board of Directors for something, I'm the last person you'd want to invite.

That being said, I just got placed on the Board of Directors for the Parent Teacher Assocation for Daisy's school. Hah! Joke's on them!

You see, a couple weeks ago a woman from the PTA, whom I've spoken to in the past for about 30 seconds, called. Sadly, I answered the phone.

PTA Person: Hi Mike. I'm calling because we have an opening on the PTA Board that we're trying to fill and we were thinking that Hank...or you, would be a great fit.
Me: Ha ha. I know you guys just want Hank. I'm not offended.
PTA Person: No. That's not true. Someone had suggested Hank and then...uh, I said that you would be good too.
Me: That's very kind. *coughbullshit* We'll get back to you.

I discussed the phone call with Hank later that evening. We both agreed that her plate was full and that she already did a lot of volunteering for Daisy's school. The lack of fullness on my plate, however, was conspicuous. Hank gently suggested that I should feel free to take on this job.

Note that this flies in the face of the unwritten teamwork and division-of-labor codes in our relationship. Some aspects of division are explicit. For example, Hank does the cooking and I do the dishes. Other aspects aren't spelled out quite so clearly. Chief among those more subtle areas are the charity-giving and the time-volunteering.

One could argue that if the Christian notion of Heaven and Hell is correct, that Hank has smoothed her path upwards whereas my lazy ass will drag me down to a fiery eternity. I prefer the interpretation where our Goodness coefficient is pooled, like our finances, and I can ride her coattails to the pearly gates.

Thankfully, I'm an agnostic Jew, so I can sleep well either way. That's handy for getting me a good night's rest, but it doesn't make me feel any better about being a selfish and lazy bastard. So, after much thoughtful coin-flipping, I called back the PTA lady and agreed to join the Board.

Ladies and germs, I proudly present the next Secretary of the Board of the Parent Teacher's Association: Me! I'm the Secretary, biatch! (Note the comma)

That's Lord Secretary to you peons! BOW BEFORE MY GREAT SECRETARINESS!

This is all going to end very poorly.


chess h said...

Mike, I think this is the first step in the path to real power. Don't squander this-- MILK IT!

zelda1 said...

Ahhhhh, how well I remember the PTA, the homeroom mom, the going on field trips to help keep up with the kids. Yes, that would be me, I did that and it looks like, I'll be doing another round with the Baby. This time, I'm older and wiser and know which jobs really suck and which are the fun and easy to do jobs. Anything that requires balancing, writing in a notebook, or making a lot of phone calls, well dear, that job sucks. VP, now that's a good job. I liked it. It's so good to give back, don't you think?

Mike said...

Chess, if I'm going to lead, we're going to have to do a Cyrano de Bergerac ploy. You tell me what to say.

Zelda1, sure NOW you tell me which jobs suck. Where were you 24 hours ago? As a mitigating factor, I don't have to do any "writing in a notebook", unless by "writing" you mean "typing".

Janelle Renee said...

Oh, I have a feeling Mike's blog is going to get even better over the next few months.

Mike said...

jr, you know that's the real reason I took this gig.

The Tart said...

U R so impeachable dude, or is that Grapeachabllle? Either way, I think t-o-a-s-t . ; )

But oh the stories 4 the book!!! Can't wait.
The Tart
; )

Mike said...

Jocelyn, it's true that my time on the board may come to an abrupt end at some point. It should be interesting to see if they get tired of my crap before I get tired of theirs.

carey said...

You realize, of course, that this will require your attendance at every meeting. EVERY meeting.

This is just your first step on the way to PTA greatness. The next one is Fundraising Ho. Good luck.

(And thanks for stopping by my blog.)

Mike said...

Hi Carey! Fear not, my wife is already the fundraising ho.