Thursday, May 04, 2006
I'm in the supermarket the other day and I spied these babies on the right. They're Grapples, which are, apparently, apples that taste like grapes.
I know what you're thinking. You're saying, "Don't we already have a food that tastes like grapes? Like, maybe, grapes?"
That's why YOU are not a marketing genius. Sure, you could just eat grapes, but wouldn't you rather have someone take an apple, and apply a grape flavor to it via a mysterious and patented chemical process? Mmmmm, sounds good when I put it that way, doesn't it? I love the flavor of mysterious. And grapes!
We can only assume that this is merely Phase One of their genius flavor switching campaign. Phase Two will make EVERYTHING taste like grapes. For breakfast I'll have a delicious helping of grape toast (Groast!), a side of grape bacon (Gracon!) and two Greggs, over easy. Yum!
Phase Three will just generally swap all flavors. Burgers will taste like Mountain Dew, salt will taste like pepper, and chocolate will have the delectable flavor (and odor!) of liver and onions. Every meal will be a complete surprise. Think you ordered cherry pie for dessert? Mmmm, sushi!
Folks, this is why we haven't cured cancer yet. People are spending their time "inventing" dumbass crap like this. Even worse, other people are wasting their time blogging about it. It's a vicious cycle.
Posted by Mike at 8:33 PM