Pimply Clerk: Would you like to buy insurance on your headset? It's only $6.00.
Me: Insurance on my $25 headset? No, I think I'll roll the dice on this baby.
Pimply Clerk: (smirking) Are you sure? You could.... (quietly, almost ominously) fall.
Me: Sir, taking risks like this is what makes us feel alive. Life never feels quite so vibrant as when I decline insurance on headsets.
Pimply Clerk: (shaking head) Ok.
And, so, 2006 starts with a bolt! But, what happened to 2005? Let's review briefly.
In the last twelve months I've:
- Written 219 blog posts. That's 4 self-serving ramblings per week!
- Run 989 miles. If I had started here in San Francisco last January, I could have been north of Vancouver (that's in Canada!) by now.
- Retired from marathoning. I can still recall crossing the finishing line in Boston on April 18th of this year and saying, "Goddamn, I'm tired. This sucks. I quit." Some conclusions are only obvious in hindsight. I can't conceive of what hobby would be more stupid than marathoning, but surely someone else has.
- Slept dozens of hours. I haven't actually added up the number of hours I slept this year, but I'm pretty sure it's at least dozens.
- Eaten no caviar. I actually bought an ounce of it for New Year's Eve, because I have visions of becoming a pretentious bastard. I figure it'll go well with my curmudgeonliness. Alas, we never got around to eating it in 2005.
- Worked, parented, did chores, cut toenails, blah blah blah.
- Best TV Show? I'm probably going to go with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, but Arrested Development deserves an Honorable Mention, and the Colbert Report made a strong late showing.
- Best book I read? That's a tough call. I'll say A Deepness In the Sky by Vernor Vinge. I read a ton of sci fi, and that may have been my favorite this year. I reserve the right to change this answer at any time
- Best craft project I heard of? My wife and two of her close friends have undertaken a herculean quilting effort. They've been at it for many months. When I first saw the pattern they were using, I was aghast at its complexity. When they explained that the pattern was merely for ONE SQUARE of the quilt, I couldn't stop laughing. That being said, the top crafting honor easily goes to the Mincemeat Vixen, for her cross stitch pattern pictured in this blog post.
- Worst blog post? Geez, so many worthy choices. I'm going with this one. I reserve the right to change this answer at any time.
- I haven't made any resolutions yet. They usually take a few weeks or months to ferment.
- I know I need to make tons more money. It has become apparent to me that the wife and I will need to provide financial support for other members of our family. I'm still waiting for those lottery winnings, so in the meantime I might need a Plan B.
- I'd like to be nicer in 2006, but that, unlike the lottery, seems unattainable.
4 comments:
sweet! i got called a moron by mike! my lfe is complete...
Hey, I didn't call you a moron. I just suggested that ultramarathoning might be moronic.
So I learned 2 things today:
1) Vancouver is in Canada (gee thanks, Cdr. Mapquest)
2) You read a lot of SciFi *snicker*
I'm just glad you didn't link to me for "Worst Blog Post" because well, I'm not nice either.
I only learned one thing today:
1) Tinyhands is a mean mean man.
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