Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I've been working with the same group of guys for more than 5 years. It's a pretty good group, both socially and productivity-wise. I've known one of them as a friend and colleague for more than 15 years (since college). Today, that little bastard resigned to find greener corporate pastures.

But this blog post isn't about him, the little bastard. It's about me. His resignation from our company made me think about my career. I've realized that if I needed to find a new job, I'd be pretty screwed. I've been doing software for about 15 years, and exclusively Java for the last 4 or so. Technically speaking, this means that I'm a one-trick pony, and it's not the sort of trick that leaves you satisfied or craving a cigarette. Unfortunately, it is the sort of trick that you can get a guy to India to do for about 1/10th my salary, if that floats your boat.

So that left me wondering if there are any other career choices for me that don't involve programming a computer. I mean, I'm a smart guy with a college degree. I can communicate reasonably well. I should be employable, right?

I'm not sure what this mythical job would be, but if I were to pursue a non-programming career, I'd need some sort of resume. I haven't written one of those in over a decade. Allow me to take a crack at it here:

Mike xxxxxxxxx
San Francisco, CA
(415) 555-3825
ogblayay atay gmailay dotay comay

Objective: To obtain a job NOT programming a computer, preferably one where I can work from home. Must earn unwarranted salary.

Education: Degree in Electrical Engineering. Unused! Still in original packaging. Like new (sort of). Spacious!!!

Experience: Mostly irrelevant to my current goal of obtaining a job NOT programming a computer.
  • 1983 - Wendy's: Made square burgers.

  • 1984 - 1990 : Various: blah blah blah

  • 1991 - present: Various: Programmed computers

Skills

  • Resume writing
  • Scrabble
  • Making with the smarminess
  • Programming computers

5 comments:

tinyhands said...

Put the more recent experience first. And I think it's more grammatically correct to write 'programmed THE computers' or 'programming THE computers' as the case may be.

Mike said...

Nice try, Tiny. I'm the one with "resume writing" listed as a skill, not you.

chess h said...

Mike, you're hired. Start monday. Bring your steel-toed boots.

yiglcey smith said...

Doesn't DeVry have a Sinecure Certification program?

Mike said...

Chess, SWEET! You will not regret this.

Yiglcey, are you named after one of the word verification strings?