(No blog swap yet. Stand by. Hopefully tomorrow)
I hate Halloween parties.
Mostly I hate them because I can never think of a good costume. How many times can I cut eye holes in a sheet and go as a ghost? More often than you'd think, but it's too annoying to do every year.
I haven't actually had to attend a costume party in a while, but this year it seemed inescapable. My daughter's piano teacher, whom we like very much, was hosting a joint piano recital and costume party on Sunday. My wife called ahead of time and confirmed that the adults were expected to be in costume. So, if I wanted to see Daisy's very first piano recital, then I had to go to the damn party.
Daisy always has her costume idea picked out months in advance. Last year she was a superhero of her own creation called Spirograph Girl. Her superpowers were, apparently, pattern recognition, and maybe flying. This year she was another self-invented superhero: Lighta. Lighta's superpower is the ability to see well.
My friend Jay theorized that Daisy wanted to be a superhero who could see well because Daisy wears glasses. Maybe next year she'll be Non-Allergic Girl. Able to consume dairy, eggs, AND nuts! In a single bound!
Anyway, apparently, Daisy didn't inherit her creativity from me, because I was stumped.
"Haaaaaaaaaaaannnnk!" I whined to my wife, "What should I be for Halloween?"
She thought for a moment and then inspiration struck.
"Well, since Daisy is going to be Lighta, maybe we should go as her nemeses. We could be supervillians like...The Black Hole!"
"Oooh! Good one! I think I'll be....The Switch, who can turn lights off and on AT WILL!" and I sprang from the couch. And then I sat back down again.
After a smattering of effort, I drew the electrical symbol for a switch onto a white t-shirt. With the addition of black pants, a snazzy black cape (made of Pleather!), a couple of light switches, and some gelled-up hair, I was ready to go. I spent several minutes practicing unfurling my cape while exclaiming, "The Switch!"
So, I was either The Switch, which is a good costume, or I was a caped, effeminate dork, which isn't much of a stretch from my everyday persona. Regardless, I was out of effort and inspiration. It was a done deal. My wife donned all-black garb and became The Black Hole, and on Saturday afternoon we swept out of the house to attend the party.
Being sophisticated and suave party-goers, we strolled up to the party house a few minutes late. Since the event was half recital and half-party, my wife had been urging us to hurry up and get to the party on time, but I assured her that it was better to arrive a little late. I mean, it's a party! Be cool, babe!
We arrived at the party to find a room full of people sitting quietly, waiting for Daisy to kick off the recital. They stared at us expectantly. I scanned the room, while fluorishing my cape, and quickly noticed that not a single other grownup had come in costume. I was late and caped. Pleather or not, this is pretty much a worst-case scenario for me.
Thankfully Daisy soon rescued me from my discomfort by assuming control of the party. She described her costume and super-powers to the audience and then sat down at the piano for an excellent rendition of The Sneaky Skeleton. I was charmed. Late, but charmed.