Monday, October 24, 2005

(No blog swap yet. Stand by. Hopefully tomorrow)

I hate Halloween parties.

Mostly I hate them because I can never think of a good costume. How many times can I cut eye holes in a sheet and go as a ghost? More often than you'd think, but it's too annoying to do every year.

I haven't actually had to attend a costume party in a while, but this year it seemed inescapable. My daughter's piano teacher, whom we like very much, was hosting a joint piano recital and costume party on Sunday. My wife called ahead of time and confirmed that the adults were expected to be in costume. So, if I wanted to see Daisy's very first piano recital, then I had to go to the damn party.

Daisy always has her costume idea picked out months in advance. Last year she was a superhero of her own creation called Spirograph Girl. Her superpowers were, apparently, pattern recognition, and maybe flying. This year she was another self-invented superhero: Lighta. Lighta's superpower is the ability to see well.

My friend Jay theorized that Daisy wanted to be a superhero who could see well because Daisy wears glasses. Maybe next year she'll be Non-Allergic Girl. Able to consume dairy, eggs, AND nuts! In a single bound!

Anyway, apparently, Daisy didn't inherit her creativity from me, because I was stumped.

"Haaaaaaaaaaaannnnk!" I whined to my wife, "What should I be for Halloween?"

She thought for a moment and then inspiration struck.

"Well, since Daisy is going to be Lighta, maybe we should go as her nemeses. We could be supervillians like...The Black Hole!"

"Oooh! Good one! I think I'll be....The Switch, who can turn lights off and on AT WILL!" and I sprang from the couch. And then I sat back down again.

After a smattering of effort, I drew the electrical symbol for a switch onto a white t-shirt. With the addition of black pants, a snazzy black cape (made of Pleather!), a couple of light switches, and some gelled-up hair, I was ready to go. I spent several minutes practicing unfurling my cape while exclaiming, "The Switch!"

So, I was either The Switch, which is a good costume, or I was a caped, effeminate dork, which isn't much of a stretch from my everyday persona. Regardless, I was out of effort and inspiration. It was a done deal. My wife donned all-black garb and became The Black Hole, and on Saturday afternoon we swept out of the house to attend the party.

Being sophisticated and suave party-goers, we strolled up to the party house a few minutes late. Since the event was half recital and half-party, my wife had been urging us to hurry up and get to the party on time, but I assured her that it was better to arrive a little late. I mean, it's a party! Be cool, babe!

We arrived at the party to find a room full of people sitting quietly, waiting for Daisy to kick off the recital. They stared at us expectantly. I scanned the room, while fluorishing my cape, and quickly noticed that not a single other grownup had come in costume. I was late and caped. Pleather or not, this is pretty much a worst-case scenario for me.

Thankfully Daisy soon rescued me from my discomfort by assuming control of the party. She described her costume and super-powers to the audience and then sat down at the piano for an excellent rendition of The Sneaky Skeleton. I was charmed. Late, but charmed.


Jack Abrasive said...

When I was a child I almost choked to death on a butterscotch at my friend's Halloween party. Thankfully his father saw me in time and thwacked me on my back. I will never forget the shiny golden arc of the candy's trajectory as it sailed out of my mouth and into the night.

Thanks for dredging up that horrific memory, Mike. Thanks a lot.

Tyson said...

Daisy don't need no stinkin' costumes. She's already a superhero to me: Irrepressibly Creative Girl!

Marvel, watch your six; Daisy could be the next Stan Lee.

Mike said...

Jack, if the mere mention of a Halloween party causes you flashbacks, then I'm not certain I can help you. I recommend therapy with Dr. Laura.

Tyson, yeah, that's pretty fun. I guess I failed to mention that I LOVE that she keeps being self-invented superheroes for halloween. Every other kid at that party was a witch or a monster, or something else out of a box.