Friday, August 05, 2005

Various unrelated thoughts:

1) Although I rarely attend my running club's weekly track workouts, last night they also held a Running Form Clinic. Since my form is spectacularly bad, I decided it would be high comedy to attend the clinic. I've had several people try to analyze and fix my gait and none have been able to even figure out exactly what it is that I'm doing wrong. They can see that I'm awkwardness incarnate, but they just can't figure what to how to fix me.

When the coach saw me walk up, he shook my hand and said, "It's nice to see you out here at the track!"

"Well," I replied, "I'm eager to have you fix my running form."

His eyes bugged out and he busted up. "Sorry, Mike, but I'm not a miracle worker!"

Sure enough, I was held up as an example of what not to do. I'm happy to give back to the running community any way I can.

2) I dreamt last night that my parents had amassed $15,000,000,000 somehow. I spent much of the dream thinking about much better my life was going to become. When the alarm clock went off this morning, I was distressed to find that I was billion-free again. This is why I much prefer bad or scary dreams. Then, when I wake up, I'm overjoyed to find that I don't have cancer, or that I'm not married to Rush Limbaugh. Good dreams just depress me.

3) I'm the #3 link on Google if you search on Illegal Gerbilling. Damn, I'm proud. Screw those wusses who only enjoy legal gerbilling. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

4) We stopped by a friend's house tonight. They had a big box in front of their driveway, filled with packing peanuts. Our two kids had a blast jumping into the box and flopping around in the packing material. Our friend looked somewhat embarrassed at what passes for entertainment and declared, "This is the city kids version of jumping into a pile of leaves." I feel so ghetto.


Will said...

You have two kids?

Mike said...

Will, after I wrote the sentence about "two kids", I thought to myself, "Geez, that makes it sound like I have two kids instead of one of my kids and my friend's kid. Oh well, I guess that's why I'm a blogger and not a writer."

Leesa said...

Here in Montana, the kids are happy with empty cardboard boxes. One's they can fit into, of course. They get in, they get out, they build forts, they put the cats in them. I feel ghetto.

Mike said...

I suppose all kids like playing in boxes, but just seeing them both sit in the box, covered in packing peanuts, while gleefully tossing handfuls in the air, seemed evocative of playing in a pile of leaves.

Eponymous Pseudonym said...

Congratulations. You are now No. 1 on a Google search for said phrase.

Mike said...

Ahhh, my prayers have been answered. There is a god.