Wednesday, August 03, 2005

I'm not a particularly bad computer programmer. Generally, if I poke at the guts of a computer program long enough, it yields to my will.

However, just because I can write software does not mean that I'm skilled in all things computery. When my computer breaks, or my DSL shuts down, I'm typically dumbfounded. If rebooting my one debugging secret doesn't fix the issue, I'm stuck.

Let me be more direct here. I can't fix your computer.

I mean, I'm willing to try. I'll poke at it pretty good, but there's virtually no chance that I'll be able to fix it. If you ask me to fix it, here's the conversation that we will have:

You: So, what's wrong with my network?
Me: Geez, I'm not sure.
You: Well, what do you think is wrong?
Me: Man, it's hard to say. Everything looks ok. I mean, it's all plugged in and I see blinky lights.
You: Blinky lights?
Me: Yeah, those guys there. See? Blinking.
You: That's the sum total of your computer networking knowledge? Look for the blinky lights?
Me: No. I told you. I checked to make sure things were plugged in too.
You: Didn't you get a degree in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science.
Me: Yes.
You: Don't you sit in front of a computer all day long?
Me: Yes.
You: Don't you write computer programs?
Me: Yes.
You: ....
Me: I could reboot it again.
You: Nevermind.

See how frustrated you get with my ignorance?

So, anyway, you shouldn't assume that just because I write software that I know how to fix your computer, or give you an orgasm. It's like assuming that the car wash guy can fix your muffler or that the obese gentleman can prevent your souffle from falling, or give you an orgasm.

But you can always ask.


tinyhands said...

If only you lived closer...

Mike said...

It's true, Louie. I'm not much use from afar. I can't even see your blinky lights from here.

Leesa said...

I'm not computery either. I look for the plugs and the blinky-lights too. Then I cave and call support. Sigh....

Mike said...

Yeah, but you live on a farm and take beeyooootiful pictures. No one expects you to be wise in the ways of computers. Your knowledge is a bonus, whereas my ignorance is a burden.

Leesa said...

Beeeyoootiful, I like that. Of course if I can't figure out this compootery thing..I can't share my pictures. :)

Mike said...

Ok, you've convinced me, Leesa. Next time something breaks, I'm emailing you (assuming email still works).