Monday, June 20, 2005

Got a haircut today. Although it's not quite the debacle of my recent 80's haircut, it's still pretty gruesome. I'm back from 80's freak to standard geek. Feels like home.

My little neighborhood, which doesn't even have a grocery store, somehow supports 5 or 6 hair salons. I went to one of the newer ones that I had never visited before. The hairdresser seemed to be the proprietor and she was pleased to have a new customer. She showered me with compliments but since English wasn't her first language, most of her compliments kind of missed the mark. I won't attempt to imitate her accent here, not because of political correctness, but rather because I'm just horrible at doing accents. I'm still offensive, I'm just not good at it.

For example:

1) When I started off by complaining that my hair was WAAY too long, she stopped me and said, "Oh, but you are so handsome!". Ok, lady, you've lost all credibility in less than 30 seconds.

2) Soon into the haircut, she was clipping and shaving and was suddenly overcome with the health of my hair, "Oh, your hair is so beautiful and healthy! It is very healthy hair. I can tell you don't go outside much."

Wow, even the very nature of my hair gives away the fact that I'm a troll.

3) After most of my locks had been removed (and who the hell put all the grey hairs on my head. Very funny, bastards), the hairdresser noted, "Ohhhh! You look 10 years younger now!"

I contemplated this for a moment and then asked, "So, how old did I look when I walked in here today?"

"You looked 25!" she cheerfully exclaimed, unaware of the nearly catastrophic time paradox she was creating

"So... I look 15 now?" I asked?

She stopped dead in her tracks, double-checking my math, and then just busted up.

Sweet. I'm no longer a missing Thompson Twin. Now, I'm back to being a 15 year-old geek.


Victoria Winters said...

Nice. At least she was freindly, though! I've had my fair share of rude non-English speakers. Course, I stopped going to the Hair "Butchery" Cuttery because they made me look like a freak.

Mike said...

I guess what we can conclude is that hair is just harder to cut than you'd think. Or maybe I just have screwed up hair. Or maybe I'm too cheap to pay for a good haircut.

Life is hard.