Computers have viruses, humans have STDs, snail mail has chain letters and blogs have the insipid question lists. Evil blogger Louie, of As Told To (your name here), "tagged" me as the next stooge to fill out this list. Because I am a sheep at heart, here I go.

This odd exercise requires me to accept the list of unfinished statements below, perhaps add a few, and then finish 5 of them. Then, I get the pleasure of propagating this virus list onwards. Seems like the list of questions grow forever, but who am I to judge?

If I could be an assassin's bullet (Mike/Ogblay)
If I could be a member of the opposite sex (Mike/Ogblay)
If I could be a list of blog questions (Mike/Ogblay)
If I could be a ninja (Tinyhands)
If I could be a fly on the wall (Tinyhands)
If I could be a rodeo clown (Tinyhands)
If I could be a celebrity (Tinyhands)
If I could be totally at peace (April)
If I could be on the other side of the world (April)
If I could be a cat burgler (April)
If I could be a supermodel (April)
If I could be in a movie (April)
If I could be a music executive (The Man In The Middle)
If I could be a grandparent(The Man In The Middle)
If I could be a computer hacker(The Man In The Middle)
If I could be a professional basketball player(The Man In The Middle)
If I could be a Customer Service Representative(The Man In The Middle)
If I could be an artist
If I could be a marketing director
If I could be a nanny
If I could be a psychic
If I could be an emergency medical technician
If I could be a firefighter
If I could be a designer
If I could be a policeman/woman
If I could be a teacher
If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a musician
If I could be a doctor
If I could be a painter
If I could be a gardener
If I could be a missionary
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect
If I could be a linguist
If I could be a librarian
If I could be an athlete
If I could be a lawyer
If I could be an innkeeper
If I could be a professor
If I could be a writer
If I could be a llama-rider(by Ogre)
If I could be a bonnie pirate(By Teach)
If I could be a servicemember(By Jeremy)
If I could be a business owner(By Blue 944)
If I could be an actor(By Blue 944)
If I could be an agent(By KelBel)
If I could be video game designer(By KelBel)
If I could be a comic book artist(By Stoli)
If I could be a hooker(By Pollo Loco)
If I could be a crack addict(by Elizabeth)
If I could be a porn star(by Elizabeth)
If I could be a mime(by Garrison)
If I could be a domestic engineer(by Rick)
If I could be a chimney sweep(by laine)
If I could be a masseuse(by laine)
If I could be a taxi driver(by Brian)
If I could be a priest(by Brian)
If I could be the Sherrif Of Nottingham(Karen)
If I could be a dancer(Karen)
If I could be Santa Claus(Karen)
If I could be on a reality TV show(Dawn)
If I could be a magician(Dawn)
If I could be a rich man
If I could be perfect
If I could be a comedian

Now.

If I could be a psychic, I'd spend my days looking into my future and then trying to change it, thus causing a rift in the space-time continuum. Stupid universe.

If I could be a could be a supermodel, I don't think people would buy that season's clothing line.

If I could be a porn star....could be?

If I could be a priest, I'd dismantle the church from the inside by espousing a archaic philosphy which discriminated against women and gays.

If I could be a magician, I'd make everyone forget this blog post. POOF!


I shall now "tag" the following people for the following reasons:

1) The Mincemeat Vixen - By bringing you down to this level, I seemingly elevate my cool factor. Seriously, do I not seem cooler (and taller) now?

2) Vivian to Some - I see that Mr. Tony Pierce keeps linking you. I'd like the world to know that I read your blog before they did.

3) Colby - This is your punishment for outing me.