Today we'll play a quick game of What's Creepier?

What's creepier, a plumber who shows you pictures of his naked wife or a contractor who tells you about an upcoming medical procedure on his ass?

Let's play our game! Shuffle up and deeeeeeeal!

First up, plumber guy. Creepy numerator points for:
- Pulling out a nekkid picture from his wallet of some woman he claims was his wife
- Instructing me to vote for her on some website
- Mucho plumber crack
- Sweaty

Mitigating denominator points for:
- Having hot wife

Next up, contractor dude. Creepy numerator points for:
- Telling me he won't be working on my house on Friday because he's having a "procedure" ("procedure" said with knowing male emphasis)
- Bringing up the topic again the next day to ensure that I knew this was a colonoscopy
- Telling me that he won't go into any more details, and immediately following that up by noting that the doctors will practically be sending a camera crew up his ass

Mitigating denominator points for:
- Being a nice guy

So, plumber has 4 numerator creepy points and 1 mitigating denominator point, for a creepiness quotient of FOUR!

Meanwhile, contractor has 3 numerator creepy points and 1 mitigating denominator point, for a creepiness quotient of only three.

Plumber wins today's game of What's Creepier?. Congratulations, dude. You'll be receiving a prize of Rice-a-Roni, Turtle Wax, and a firm tsk-tsking.

Some readers may wonder why these men feel compelled to share these disturbing and intimate bits of their lives with me, a virtual stranger to them. I also wonder this. Perhaps I should stop wearing my "Creep me out! Ask me How!" t-shirt.