Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Quick weekend summary, because if I don't write about my weekend, then who will? Hmmmm?

I made chocolate chip cookies on Saturday afternoon (which reminded me of my hatred for the cookies whose name must not be spoken). I never do any baking because I'm a disaster in the kitchen, but I spied a Ghirardelli chocolate chip cookie mix in the grocery store and it looked easy to make. Merely add eggs and butter to the mix. A recipe so easy, even I could make my very favoritest food, right? What could I possibly screw up when there are only three ingredients?

First off, I can't add real eggs and real butter to the recipe because my daughter is allergic to both those things. So, unless I wish to wield these cookies as a dietary weapon, I have to subsitute Egg Replacer for the egg, and a non-dairy margarine for the butter. No tragedy though. Me big boy.

So, I add my "egg" and my "butter" to the mix and I stir it all up by hand. Technically, the instructions say to use a mixer, but, inexplicably, I fear our mixer. I'd try to explain my rationale, but the word "inexplicably" above releases me from that burden. Master linguist, I am.

Anyway, I mixed up the dough and it didn't quite seem doughy enough. I haven't made chocolate chip cookies in about a decade, but the dough seemed too dry. So, relying upon my vast cooking knowledge, I spooned in a bit of canola oil. Oil equals not dry! Genius. If there's one thing that'll improve a three-ingredient recipe, it's a fourth ingredient. More equals better! Two legs bad!

Considering, that I screwed with the recipe at exactly every step, the cookies came out pretty good. By chocolate chip cookie standards, they suck ass, but by non chocolate chip cookie standards, they unsuck ass. I also have a tasty crab melt recipe that I can share.

Dang, I'm running out of time here. I actually have to leave the house to work today. Hold me.

Also went to see a concert this weekend. Dan Zanes does great music that is good for kids and adults. If you've never heard a Jamaican rapper join a rocking folk band featuring someone playing the saw and the spoons for a medley including Old MacDonald, then you've never seen Dan Zanes. MacDonald may be old, but he can still rock.

Finally, had some friends over to see the finale of Survivor. This was a wretched season featuring unpleasant and unfunny contestants. I had no one to root for in the final four. Do you know who won? I did, because I don't have to watch that damn show any more. They forced me!

Ok, must...go....leave....house.....now.............


tinyhands said...

A perfect opportunity to work "cunning linguist" into conversation (in context, no less!) and you passed it up. *shakes head*

Mike said...

Oh, that is funny. I recall when I was fermenting this blog in my head, thinking of that very expression, and yet when I had the opportunity, I did indeed forget all about it. One demerit point for me. Muggins for you.

Allie#3ga said...

don't you love how tinyhands will work in lyrics from showtunes into a conversation? i love that about him.

Mike said...

What? Tinyhands is gay? I would have never guessed, although this does explain why he's so sensitive, as well as the oddly arousing pictures he sent me.

(For our more homophobic comment readers out there, I kid. We make these jokes in San Francisco all the time, usually while gathered around the glory hole)

amy said...

I'm so glad you also hated this past season of SURVIVOR. I hated every single person on the island! What the f*ck were the producers thinking when they put chicks against the dicks. Good gravy!!!! White Trash Chris won over White Trash Twila. Well golly gee whizzers. I surely hope his fiance has a pretty white wedding!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!! But being a true fan of the show and never missing an episode since Richard Hatch...I will be stupidly watching the next one come January. Happy Holidays man....

Mike said...

The "characters" on Survivor need to meet at least one of these qualities:

1) Extremely likable
2) Extremely hot
3) Extremely funny

They struck out on all those. Well, there were a few hot folks, but they mostly got ousted early on. I want more funny! BRING ME THE FUNNY!