Day Four! The last day of single parenthood!
The wife just called. Her flight has landed and she'll be back at home in less than 30 minutes. That gives me precious little time to screw things up enough so that she'll never leave again. Perhaps if the child is screaming, and the house is a mess, and the bank account is overdrawn, she'll learn her lesson once and for all. Then again, maybe something more dramatic is required.
Where did I leave the matches? Welcome home, wifey.