Today I was many men, all of them cartoonishly super-heroish.
In the morning, I was Amazing Chore Man. I multi-tasked my way through gardening, laundry, bill-paying, and kitchen clean-up. Meanwhile, I hummed the Enjoli jingle. Mmmmm, bacon.
After lunch, I was Amazingly Stereotyped Hippie Man. I drove my Car Share car to the Rainbow Cooperative where I purchased a vegan cookie.
A few words about the Rainbow Cooperative though, if I may. It's a great store, but it's totally loony in there. Many items come in bulk. Instead of grabbing a factory-packaged box of Cheerios, you fill your unbleached, recycled, reusable, organic bag with spelt or musli, using the whittled-by-indigenous-peoples, non-rainforest-wood, unbleached, recycled, reusable ladle. Interested in massage oils? You're in luck, there's an ENTIRE AISLE of them. Rainbow doesn't have brand names like "Coca Cola" (corporate pigs!), but you can stock up on a dizzying array of organic soy-based products.
It's the sort of place where you'd bring your empty tube of Tom's of Maine toothpaste to refill it from their bulk bins. It's a hoot and a half.
After my trip to Rainbow, I popped over to a new sports equipment store here in San Francisco. I'd never been to this place, but I knew it was a big store and I was a bit peckish, so I was expecting to pick up an energy bar for a snack. This is where I became Amazingly Stupid Man. Right after I walked into this warehouse-sized store, I spotted a wall that said DELI. "Oooh, a deli in the sports store", I thought, "I could go for a deli snack." I was dismayed to find no such deli though. Just sporting goods underneath the sign. Immediately afterwards, I spotted a wall that said BAKERY. "Oooooh, baked goods sound tasty", I thought as I salivated. Somehow, however, there were no baked goods. Just sporting goods. Then I spotted the PRODUCE wall. "Well", I thought, "produce would do in a pinch". Surprise surprise, no produce there.
A smarter man would have figure out after the DELI sign that these signs weren't to be trusted. Apparently this store is in an ex-supermarket, or they just like screwing with idiots like me.
When I got home, I popped open a bag of my organic pretzels and had a snacky.