Monday, June 21, 2004

I'm not good at naming things. Well, frankly, it's really more of a difficulty with making any sort of decision at all, but for the sake of brevity, I'll stick to the naming issue for now. Stay on target.

Most of my life I just named things "Hank". My first car? Hank. Second car? Hank. Motorcycle? You get the idea. Thankfully I haven't had to name that many things in my life. I never had many pets, but the one I did have was a fish named Rover. Rover predated my Hank-fixation. Regardless, it's still a pretty crappy name. What points it gains for inappropriateness, it loses for general lack of creativity. Ditto for the Hanks.

Imagine the pressure I felt when I had to name my child! Screw that up and your child is scarred for life. So, the wife and I scoured baby name books, baby-name-generator websites, and lists of brand new Eastern European countries (coochie coochie coo, Moldova!). One of the websites, whose link I have lost, was particularly entertaining. You'd select the gender of the to-be-named child and it would display one of the thousands of names in its database, along with some sort of smiley/frowny face which indicated the rating that previous visitors had given that name. The first three girl names out of this contraption were: Blanda, Ted, and Dyella. Let the record show that Blanda had warranted a rating of Aghast Face. We were compelled at that point to use Blanda as the name-in-progress, but none of those names, not even Ted, was destined to be the final name for our sweet baby girl.

We did eventually find a whole set of names we liked on a list of boy's names. Even then, however, we were paralyzed by indecision, and did not actually choose a name until days after our daughter was born. Finally, after several days in the hospital, with the nurse tapping her foot, pen poised over the birth cetificate, we chose a name. I won't mention it here but I think you'll all be able to guess it when I tell you that it starts with a consonant (and not that wussy Y, either (man, I hate that Y. I oughta kick its ass)).

Although I am pleased with the name of my daughter, who will now be referred to as Blanda (long live Blanda), my overall naming record is still pretty dismal.

So, when I was forced to choose a name for this blog, it took me days to actually complete the form. I shall not dwell upon the fact that the current name indicates that I pretty much gave up, rather than that the days were filled with quality creative thinking. Hence *Insert Funny Blog Title Here*.

When my wife first read my blog, she assumed that "*Insert Funny Blog Title Here*" was a command for her, rather than an actual blog title. She immediately crafted and fired off a list of potential names for the blog, including:

"Little Bloggy Wets A Lot"
"Bloggy, Like a Fox"
"Thump Thump"

and my personal favorite

"I Am Prepared to Give Up at Any Time"

So, I'm going with that last one. That phrase is my personal motto. It always gives me comfort knowing that quitting is an option. Ahhhh, the sickly sweet stench of low expectations. Smells like happiness.

I was going to close out this entry with a joke about my upcoming vacation to the Republic of Blanda, but I can't be bothered to craft the transition.

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