Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Me: How was school today?
Daisy: We had puberty class. We studied boy parts.
Me: Ah, yes. So, what did you learn?
Daisy: We learned about... uh... erections!
Me: Oh yeah? What did you learn about them?
Daisy: Well, we learned the seven ways that erections happen.

Seven?? I'm pretty sure I've been doing it just the one way. How am I'm supposed to be able to get an erection seven different ways? Oh, man that is a lot of pressure. Who knew that there were as many ways to get wood as Wonders of the World? Or Habits of Highly Effective People!

While I careened off into my own personal spiral of inadequacy, Hank took over.

Hank: Wow, I don't think I know the seven ways. What are they?
Daisy: Uh, the first one was morning.

Oh! Morning wood! Ding! Ok, phew. I'm up to two now.

Daisy: Another one was erections being caused by nervousness.

Nervousness causing hardons? That's not really an issue for most dudes in their 40s. If I'm nervous about, say, my company running out of money and getting laid off, I'm more likely to crap my pants than sport a big boner.

Daisy: And, uh... oh, no reason at all! Sometimes they just happen!

That's a pretty crappy reason. Granted, I've gotten plenty of randoboners in my day, but I'm sure they were caused by something at least on a subconscious or inadvertent-pocketpool level. I can't believe we're scraping the bottom of the list barrel and we're only on reason #3 of 7. This is beginning to sound like a list in someone's crappy blog.

Daisy: I can't remember the rest.

Yep, that's a crappy blog post.

1 comment:

Ms.PhD said...

ok this post gets points just because i've never seen the word "randoboner" used before. ever.