Thursday, May 13, 2010

At the lunch table the other day, one of my coworkers was telling us his opinion of Iron Man 2.  I suggested that we needed some sort of unit of measurement that we could use to describe how pleasurable an experience was.

Pablo suggested the "gasm".  Brilliant.

We agreed that the more useful form is probably the milligasm, but either way it's a damn handy unit of measurement.  I encourage you all to start using it.  Here are some usage tips.

1000 milligasms is the same amount of pleasure than an orgasm would bring you.  Negative milligasms are allowed if you're describing the type of experience so unpleasurable that it could prevent future orgasms.  Amounts greater than 1000 milligasms  (1 gasm) are possible, but should be used sparingly.

Oh, and Iron Man 2?  600 milligasms according to the superhero-appreciating Raymond.  Wear thick undies just in case.

And on a unrelated note, if we're describing an simultaneous orgasm achieved by two people, could that be an andgasm?   Yep, apparently it is.


tinyhands said...

Hey, the metric system is for commies! Over here, we use english units. 1 gasm is equivalent to 24 tweaks and 1 tweak is 4 flicks. Alternatively, you can get 1 gasm from 52 pumps or 12 strokes. As with most english units, there are different conversions for the number of licks depending on whether you're talking about weight or volume.

BTW- I finally watched your standup video. (I know, I'm a terrible internet-friend) It was really good! I'm so proud of you, and a little jealous. Keep it up!

Mike said...

Oooh, I like the English conversions there. Nice! And thanks for the comments about the stand-up. If you're feeling jealous, I bet you could find opportunities like that yourself....

Ms.PhD said...

I love it! I promise to use it.