A couple of days before Winter Present Tree Day, Daisy and I stopped by a tree lot to pick up a tree. We wandered up and down the aisles, with Daisy eagerly bounding up to each tree vehemently proclaiming that one to be the best tree, one after another. We finally agreed on one and paid some underpaid man to strap it to our car. I dragged it into the house. It looked like this:
Ok, it's a little lopsided, but I didn't grow up in households that celebrated Christmas. This is what you get when you send out a Jew (and an ex one at that) to buy a Winter Present Tree Day Tree. Daisy and Hank decorated the bad boy and it happily sat in our house for several weeks, vaguely disguising our lack of Christianity.
This weekend it was time to get rid of it, but rather than drag it to the curb and hope that the city recycling service was still picking up trees, I decided to take care of it myself. With my chipper!
I hauled the tree out to the small deck off our living room and pitched the tree over the railing into the backyard below. Then I grabbed a small saw, some heavy duty clippers, and my chipper. I clipped the branches off the main trunk, sawed the trunk into logs small enough to fit into our wood-burning stove and then stuffed all the branches into the clipper.
Oh. Man. The next time you get frustrated at the holiday season, try cramming your tree, the primary symbol of the holidays, into a noisy and powerful chipper. It's VERY cathartic. I know some people put up nativity and manger scenes, but I did my own reenactment of Judas goes to Fargo.
But don't get all concerned that I'm trying to destroy Christmas. Recall that it wasn't a Christmas tree, it was a Winter Present Tree Day Tree. K?
Anyway, by the time I was done, I had a small pile of little logs and an equally small pile of chipper debris all ready for the compost heap. You can see how small it chipped down into below. I put a brick on the other side of the chipper debris for size comparison:
Nifty, eh? I can't wait for next year!