They say that the best personal blogs are the deeply felt ones, where the writer's most intimate feelings pour onto the page, uncensored and unedited.
If I am to be completely honest here and now, I'd have to admit that I do not have that kind of writer's courage. My deepest fears and and most private hopes stay off this page. When something really troubles me and I feel pain in my heart, I don't share those thoughts here. With a few exceptions, this blog is just my place to record things that amuse me or that I want to remember.
So, even though I've been going through a tough patch the last month, I haven't written very much about it. It was just too personal.
What caused my pain? Cell phone companies.
I don't want to go into a lot of detail here, because the wound is still fresh, but the two sentence summary is that my cell phone broke about 5 weeks ago and I exerted Herculean efforts to try and procure a replacement that would make me happy. After spending way too much time, and launching too way too many vendettas against cell phone companies, I am left with what may be the world's worst cell phone.
A guy I work with, whom we'll call Oscar, went through similar problems years ago. He solved them by deciding not to carry a cell phone any more. It just wasn't worth the hassle any more. During the darkest times of the last month, he'd gently suggest that I follow his path.
I now refer to him as "Crazy No Cell Phone Guy". No cell phone?!?!? Crazy! Luddite!
The other reason I didn't want to talk about this in the blog is because stories about cell phone company woes are statistically in the top 2% of the most inane stories. It's like hearing about someone's frustrating airline trip, listening to any story by a 9 year-old, or being subjected to a long description of someone's dream. Those stories always turn out the same way. There are endless barriers preventing the protagonist from getting to their goal, there are a bevy of details that lead nowhere substantive, and there's probably a chicken that's not really a regular chicken but you sort of thought it was a chicken at first.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that even though I now own the world's worst cell phone, I've made my peace with this process. My cell phone now works. I can't browse the web or have light saber battles, but I can make and receive calls and text messages and that'll just have to do.
In fact, I got my first text message on it yesterday. I was coming home from work and Hank texted this to me:
"Can u pick up a box of tampons on your way home?"
Oh sweet beekeeping Jesus. Oscar was right.