Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Two random and unrelated thoughts:

1) Blackmail is a weird crime.

Blackmail is the act of threatening to reveal a secret about someone or something unless they meet some sort of demand. We're not talking about national security secrets here, just run-of-the-mill stuff like ratting out infidelity.

I don't quite understand why this is illegal. I mean, sure, I wouldn't want someone to blackmail me, but I also don't like it when someone cuts in front of me in line and that's not illegal. Why is it illegal to threaten to tell the truth about something in the case where you're willing to trade your silence for compensation? Sounds like a pretty standard contract.

The flip side of this is not illegal. Courts will happily enforce agreements where one party voluntarily pays another party for their silence. For some mysterious reason I don't understand, this agreement must be initiated by the payer and not the payee. If the would-be payee asks for payment in exchange for silence then BAM, it's a felony. If the payer suggests the arrangement, then everything is hunky dory.


2) To the list of ways that I'd like to die, please add: being sucked into a black hole.

I think that would be a really cool way to go. It would be quick and interesting in your final moments. I mean, I know that dying in my sleep seems easy and painless, but then there's a dead body for someone to deal with. Being sucked into a black hole is muss-free.

I'm crossing my fingers for this one.


Meg S. said...

Are these blackmail thoughts because of the pictures I sent you of Happy Daze? The threat of the film of the show?

I never want to die in my sleep. Or have Mr. Big die in his sleep. That's the last thing either of us needs to wake up to. Like the guy that died at Disneyland. Sure, he died in the happiest place on earth, but for everyone who saw it? Not good.

I like the black hole idea, but mostly because it means I've been in outer space. We're planning a trip to space for our 50th anniversary. I'll be looking for black holes and get back to you.

Avery Gray said...

Personally, I'm hoping for carbon monoxide poisoning. But not until I'm 82. And I want my husband to die with me. Not that I want him dead, but, hell, he'll be 94. When bowel control is just a fond memory, it's time to move on, don't you think? And something tells me that ship will have sailed long before then.

Mike said...

Meg, I do not fear your tape of Happy Daze. I'm pretty sure I was given the role I got because I seemed capable of memorizing all the lines and not because I had a modicum of talent. I know I sucked.

Avery, yeah, there's something comforting about having the whole family die together. So, either a black hole, or some sort of murder suicide is in the future for our humble little family.

Sue said...

I like the idea of being conscious right until the last minute, then going peacefully (and painlessly). You know, like in the movies.

Mike said...

Sue, yeah, that sounds nice, but as Meg points out, then your hubby gets to wake up next to your dead body.